Second Chances: Part 1
It was another late afternoon at the Magic Shop. Anya reverently shut the cash register drawer as she finished ringing up the only customer in the store. Buffy had just finished training and she was sitting in front of the counter cooling off drinking a bottle of water. Giles was at the other end of the counter, looking at mail. Xander, noticing the time, looked at Giles.
"Should we lock up big guy?"
Giles looked at him, over his glasses, then looked at his watch. He nodded. Xander got up, heading over to the front door.
As he was heading over a man entered the shop. Xander shrugged and returned to the table, to wait until he left to lock up. The man started working his way around towards the counter, stopping every now and then to look at something that caught his eye. Giles looked up inquiring if he needed any help but the man shook his head no. Giles went back to his mail. Xander remembered that he needed to fix the dummy in the training room as Buffy had literally knocked the stuffing out of it yesterday. He got up, walking out of sight into the back.
Anya watched the man as he roamed around, always somewhat hostile towards customers if they looked like they were just touching without any intention of buying. She could just tell that he wasn't going to purchase anything. She was itching to assist him out to the sidewalk. She held her tongue knowing that Giles would not be happy. He always insisted that all customers be treated with respect and it grated on her.
As the man in the store passed her by, Buffy briefly looked up watching him as he strolled in Giles' direction. She admired his leather coat, wishing she had one like it. Buffy liked coats. She had a lot of them, which made no sense given that there wasn't much coat wearing weather going on for most of the year in Sunnydale.
As the man walked past Giles, he snaked out an arm and pulled Giles to his side. That got Buffy's attention and she looked to see what was going on. The man spoke softly saying, "Nobody move, everyone stay quiet. No one needs to get hurt. I just want the money out of the register." He looked briefly at Anya. Anya got a defiant look on her face. This man had to be kidding. Buffy looked closer and saw that leather guy had a gun, sticking in Giles' side.
Giles looked at Anya. "Anya, just give him the money."
Anya looked at him, her chin set. "Giles, I'm not giving him my money."
Giles swallowed. "Anya, please, just give him the money." As concerned as he was about the gun in his side, he was more concerned for her. She had such an extraordinary gift for annoying people and he didn't think a man with a gun was the best person to annoy.
Buffy meanwhile was thinking fast. She was also concerned with the gun, but after dealing with evil bottom dwellers and blood-sucking vampires with bad fashion sense on a nightly basis this guy was a piece of cake. He had so picked the wrong store to rob. She waited for leather guy to shift his eyes to Anya and she moved.
Giles had seen Buffy start to move. He shook his head, fear for her now coming to the front. He realized that she was, of course, as usual, committed to her impulsive act. He braced for impact. She barreled into leather guy grabbing his hand and that's when it all went wrong. As the man felt Buffy's body hit his, he instinctively pulled the trigger.
The bullet tore through Giles, at point blank range. Giles was slammed into the side of the counter and then started to fall. Buffy watched in disbelief. She lunged for Giles, catching him before he hit the floor. She lowered him down. The man she had been fighting lurched to his feet, and ran for the door.
Xander, Willow and Tara had run into the room when they heard the gunshot. Willow screamed when she saw Giles go down. "Giles!" She ran up to Buffy falling to the floor next to Giles. She saw the blood pouring out of him, out of his mouth. She looked up, tears streaming down her face, "Xander, call an ambulance!"
Buffy started to cry, terrified, not knowing what to do. There was too much blood, no way to stop it. He was dying, in front of her. Dying because she had to prove she was tougher than anything, because she always knew best what to do. Dying because of a freaking bullet. Her eyes turned to Willow, beseeching. "Willow, do something, do a spell or something, don't let him die. Please Willow, do something." Willow looked at Buffy, tears streaming down her face, "I don't know what to do…I.." She looked at Tara, and Tara shook her head.
Xander was trying to stop his hand from shaking to press the correct buttons on the phone. He kept saying to himself, "It's three stupid numbers, it's only three numbers." He finally connected and stammered out the required information. He ran back over to Giles and saw his lifeless eyes staring up at him, blood everywhere. The tableau just stopped, everyone motionless until the ambulance unloaded its team and they raced into the Magic Shop. Buffy and the rest of them watched as they covered Giles, loaded him into the ambulance, and took him away.
------
He had taken care of them all. Even in death his love for them was strong. He had left them all financially set up, left the condo to Buffy, the store to Xander and Anya, his private collection of books to Willow and Tara. He had divided the rest of his personal possessions amongst them all with Buffy getting the lion's share but leaving nobody out, somehow knowing instinctively what each would have wanted. None of them expected him to have done that; couldn't imagine when he had taken the time to get his affairs in order. Buffy moved into Giles' place, needing to feel his things around her.
She was a basket case. She knew it; her mom knew it; all her friends knew it. They didn't know how to help. She couldn't believe he was gone. Every stray noise she heard she was sure it was Giles about to walk in the door either of his home, or at the Shop. His death had been too sudden, too traumatic for her mind to grasp. Too much her fault. She played that last minute of his life over and over again, imagining what she could have done differently. But this was too big a mistake; there was no kindness left in life for her, nothing would bring him back.
Tara had been the one to step up to the plate and help with all the funeral arrangements. She directed Willow, Xander and Buffy as to where they needed to be and they went. Anya just went with Xander. Death was confusing to her and Giles' death created an unexpected void in her that even promises of store ownership and lots of money of her own didn't fill. The store was too empty without him, even though everyone still hung around, actually more than they had. They needed to feel each other's presence in his absence. And his absence was keenly felt. As quiet as he had been, as unobtrusive, he had provided something essential for each of them, and they all felt lonely and lost.
Even Spike had been morose. Not that he would have spoken of it for the world but he had liked Giles. Sure, he would have killed him in a heartbeat if he didn't have that chip in his head, but there was a lot to Giles. There were worse guys to have at your back. Not to mention that Giles had paid him on a regular basis for information and assistance. More than the bloody rest of them were likely to do. Plus, he liked good scotch and Giles had always had good scotch on hand. He considered it a last personal favor to Giles to keep an eye on Buffy until she pulled herself together. She was making mistakes on patrol and she'd already have been dead a couple of times if he hadn't intervened. He didn't think she'd last long at this rate.
-----
It had been a month and things were starting to settle into a routine. Willow and Tara had taken over research duties trying to fill Giles' shoes. Buffy dropped by every day after school to report in on any unusual Hellmouth activity. Then she would go and punch something in the training room for a really long time, inevitably coming out with reddened eyes that no one commented on.
That evening they were all there, finishing up a pizza provided by Xander, and listlessly flipping through books. It was past closing time but no one had bothered to lock the door. The bell on the door jingled indicating someone entering and they all looked up to see Ethan Rayne coming into the shop. Xander rolled his eyes saying, "Great, I was just wishing for a little excitement and in walks Dr. Chaos himself."
Buffy stood, crossing her arms over her chest, "What the hell do you want?"
Ethan strode over to her getting right in her face. "What the fuck were you trying to do?"
Buffy pushed him away. "What are you talking about?"
"Ripper, Rupert. I know that you were responsible for his death. You were always almost getting him killed. Why did you have to interfere?"
Her breath caught. Xander stood up, threatening, "She didn't do anything. He got shot during a holdup. It wasn't Buffy's fault so just back off."
"Of course it was her fault. I read the article in the newspaper. I read how she was trying to be the hero." He turned to Buffy, his eyes ablaze. She shrunk back at the look in them. She could still feel the gun going off as she had moved in.
Xander was getting angry. "Buffy saved Giles' life and our lives and even your worthless life more times than you'll ever know. Where do you get off talking like this? It was an accident."
Ethan was unappeased, "A fucking accident, is that what you're calling it?" He started to prowl around the area in front of the counter. "All of you, all of you have been killing him for years." They looked up at his comment, confusion evident on their faces.
Ethan continued. "None of you knew him. None of you knew what he was capable of, what he could have been. You had him here, right here and instead of appreciating him you used him and you used him and you sucked him dry until he was a shadow of the man he used to be." They all looked at Ethan's face, saw the madness lurking there. They could feel his anger and hate radiating off of him. Buffy couldn't move, hearing his words, feeling them fall like a sledgehammer on her heart and mind.
"I knew him for 35 fucking years. Since we were 10 years old. I was his friend, not you. I was the one who picked up the pieces when you lot tore his heart out of his fucking chest. Who do you think sat with him night after night after Jenny died? Who helped him out after Angelus tortured him almost to death? He couldn't even wipe his own fucking butt but did any of you care? Did any of you even come by and see him? Did you?" He looked at Buffy. "You fucking ran away. I drove him around looking for you, you worthless piece of shit." Xander moved forward on that and Ethan put his hand up chanting something. Xander couldn't approach any closer; he could feel a barrier preventing him.
Ethan wasn't done. "I know I gave him some shit, but I knew how to be a friend when he needed it. I loved him more than you ever did, the fucking lot of you thrown together." He sobbed once. "I never understood why he chose to come here, and I sure as hell don't understand why he stayed. You didn't deserve him."
He sobbed again. Suddenly he swung over to the counter smashing his hand down hard on the glass shattering it, needing the pain to focus on, to keep himself together. He looked at them all, disgust on his face. "He was the best there was, and you fucking treated him like he was a joke." Blood dripped down his hand, dripping on the floor. He turned back to Buffy. "Well, it won't be like that next time. When he comes back, he won't choose you this time, I'll make sure of that. I'll make fucking sure of that." He turned and moving fast made for the door.
His final words slowly registered with Buffy and she lunged after him. "Ethan, what did you mean, when he comes back?" She screamed after him as he hit the sidewalk, "Ethan!" He kept moving. She ran to follow him seeing him get in his car. She raced over, still screaming his name. He started the car and began to pull away. She reached the car and put her fist through the passenger side window, breaking the glass, but it wasn't enough to stop him and he drove away. She stood there at the side of the street watching the car move out of her reach, and she crumpled to the sidewalk, the sobs wrenching at her. Xander, able to move once Ethan had left, came out and shooed people away, helping her inside.
They all felt angry and defensive and scared. They all looked at each other, no one knowing what to say. Finally Willow spoke, "Were we really that bad to him?" Her voice caught on the end. Tara moved up behind her putting her arms around Willow. "No, of course you weren't. He was angry. You guys loved Giles." Willow just started to cry turning around to hold Tara tightly.
Xander stood there next to Buffy. There was enough truth in what Ethan said to make him feel uncomfortable and guilty. Buffy couldn't stop crying. Every awful thought she'd had about herself since Giles' death had just been spoken out loud to her. She had no defenses left.
Anya walked over and locked the door. "Should have done this fifteen minutes ago. Would have made this day end a lot happier."
Buffy finally looked up, turning around to look at Willow and Tara, her face swollen with tears. "What did he mean, when he comes back? What is he going to do? Is there a way to bring Giles back?"
Willow and Tara looked at each other. Tara spoke. "There are spells that bring people back from the dead but they're bad and dangerous. People don't come back right, they don't come back the way they were. If Ethan is planning on doing a spell to bring Giles back we need to stop him."
Buffy nodded. "We have to find Ethan." They all nodded and fell to the task. Willow got on-line. Buffy called Angel and asked him to poke around down in LA. Xander started calling hotels. They found nothing. It was as if Ethan had vanished into thin air.
Buffy finally went out on patrol. She slowly made her way through the abundance of Sunnydale cemeteries, knowing she would end up at Giles' grave. She was helpless to resist and ended up here every night, sitting against his tombstone running her hands over the engraved words. She was almost there when she realized that things didn't look right. She ran over and saw the hole in the ground. Giles' grave had been dug up and his coffin was gone. She lifted her head up and screamed, "Ethan!" The sound reverberated through the night, bringing no answers.
------
Ethan had everything he needed. He wasn't worried about Giles coming back wrong. He had access to spells no one even knew existed. He worshipped a powerful god. Ethan had arranged for a few changes of course. A little less conscience, a lot less guilt, and some muddled memories. Ethan would fill in all the blanks for the last five years, his version of it.
He didn't want a 20-year-old Ripper; he wanted a 45-year-old one. A grown man with all his watcher experience, all his demon knowledge, all his fighting abilities, all his power. He smiled thinking of the fun they would have. How pleased his god would be with this new devotee. Ethan knew he could show this Ripper how to take a different path this time around. Ripper was his, always had been. He snarled thinking of Buffy and her band of misfits. He thought of all the time Ripper had spent with them. "What a fucking waste." He shook his head. He almost hoped Buffy would run into them, after Ripper was back, so Ethan could watch him reject her. It would almost be worth the risk.
It was time. He moved into position after taking off his clothes. He had waited for the new moon. It was barely showing on the horizon. He had wrapped Ripper's body in cloth hand drawn with magical symbols. He poured some oil over the wrapped body and then covered the shroud with a mixture of herbs and earth. He had already offered up a sacrifice to his god and had felt his god's pleasure at his gift. He began the incantation, walking around the circle. It would take most of the night, and he felt the power course through him.
End of Part I
Second Chances: Part 2
It had been two months since Giles' body had disappeared and there had been no trace of Ethan. Their efforts had started falling off, and they all began to believe that whatever Ethan had planned to do had failed. The cemetery had refilled the hole in, but Buffy never went back. He wasn't there anymore. She felt rootless, and plagued by unease. She had started losing weight and they all worried about her. They knew Spike was bailing her out. He'd show up every now and then asking Xander for money and he paid him. He was too afraid not to. Too afraid that she'd be dead without Spike's help. All of the rest of them were still grieving but life was pulling them. All that was pulling on Buffy was death, and she was tired of it.
Xander got desperate and actually called Angel for help. "Deadboy. It's Xander."
"No kidding."
"You have to do something to help Buffy."
"I tried. I've come up there twice, she barely spoke to me."
"Can't you come up with some sort of demon crisis down there that you have to have a slayer to deal with? She needs something to focus on. She's wasting away up here."
Angel paused, thinking. "Let me talk to Wes and Cordelia and see if we can come up with something."
Xander spoke, "Make it snappy, deadboy."
Angel sighed and hung up.
Angel called Buffy the next day, asking for her help. She protested but he insisted and she finally agreed. Xander put her on the bus and Wes picked her up. He was appalled at her appearance. He took her back to the office and Angel filled her in on the mission. She started patrolling that night.
It was on her second night of patrolling that she saw him. Her heart started racing and she told herself she was mistaken but there couldn't be someone who looked so much like him. She felt like she was having a heart attack. She started making her way over to the bar. He was sitting at a table next to the window. She hung in the shadows, needing to be sure. He wasn't wearing his glasses and he was dressed differently but it was still his face, still his eyes. She watched him pick up his drink and saw his pinky ring. She ran inside, running up to him. "Giles?" Her heart was in her throat.
He turned to look at her, smiling, "Why hello there." It was his voice, his smile, well sort of his smile, but close enough. Her heart was singing. She threw herself in his arms. "Giles!"
The man squeezed her back, looking over at his friend, "Well Ethan, I'd say our plans for the evening just took a turn for the better. This woman wants to play!" He moved his hands down to Buffy's butt and squeezed. She gasped and jumped back.
"Giles?"
"Why do you keep calling me that? It's my last name. Call me Ripper." He raked his eyes over her, "Or for that matter never mind, you can call me anything you like." He grinned at Ethan.
Ethan spoke up, "Ripper, you don't want this one."
"Why on earth not, Jesus, look at her."
"This was your slayer."
Ripper stood up, a look of disbelief on his face, looking at Buffy. "This was my slayer?"
"Yes." Ethan waited.
Ripper threw some money down on the table and motioned to Ethan. "Let's go, I need some fresh air."
Buffy followed him outside, grabbing his arm. "Giles, it's me, Buffy."
"I know who you are."
"Why are you acting this way?" She turned angry eyes on Ethan. "What did you do to him, why is he so different?"
Ethan laughed. "I just explained the facts of life to him, slayer, like how you made a mockery of his life and then killed him." Oh, this was wonderful. He shot her a look of triumph.
Buffy turned entreating eyes back to Giles. "Giles, that's not true. We loved you. We still do. We need you." Her eyes begged him to believe her.
There was no answering recognition in his eyes. He removed her hand from his arm as if it were distasteful. "I don't give a fuck what you need. Get the hell away from me." He motioned again to Ethan and the two of them started to walk away.
She grabbed his arm again, hard, and swung him around. "Giles, you have to listen to me. He did something to you; this isn't how you are. You have to believe me. Maybe we can fix it, maybe you can remember."
He laughed, and it sent a shiver down her spine. That wasn't a sound that had ever come out of Giles. He shoved her hard, away from him. She started to approach him again. He glared at her. "You come near me again and I'll hurt you. I don't usually hold with hurting women but with you being the slayer I don't really have to worry about that, do I?" He smiled unpleasantly at her. "I don't want you in my life. I don't want to be your watcher. I don't want anything to do with you. Go rip somebody else's balls off. Am I being clear enough?"
She stood there, looking at him, tears in her eyes, feeling his death all over again. Except this felt worse, because he was right there standing in front of her. She fell to her knees, starting to cry. He frowned at her, something in him responding to the tears. Ethan took his arm and pulled. Ripper shrugged his shoulders and responding to Ethan's tug, turned and disappeared into the night.
Buffy just knelt there crying. A couple of people asked her if she was okay but she ignored them and they eventually left her there. Angel finally found her, huddled against the wall after she had missed their prearranged rendezvous time. If he hadn't seen the shape she was in when he found her, he wouldn't have believed what she told him. After she'd cried herself out she curled up in a ball on the sofa and wouldn't talk to anybody. Angel went out looking for Giles.
-----
Ripper was feeling uneasy. He knew he'd been dead. Ethan had explained that to him, and had helped fill in the holes where his memory was hazy. He'd been having a hell of a time since. He and Ethan had slipped right back into being the best of friends. The two of them had plowed through half the women in the city. And the magic they'd practiced had been unbelievably powerful. Many of the front-page headlines were due to the chaos they had caused. Nothing too deadly; just enough to inconvenience a lot of people, the more important the better.
Ethan had told him about the slayer. How she had treated him, how they all had treated him. How she'd emasculated him. How she'd killed him. He had been humiliated that he'd allowed anyone to treat him that way. He'd sworn at that time that he would never let it happen again. He felt too good, too strong, too powerful, to ever be at someone's beck and call. He was strong enough to control the magic this time. He was stronger than Ethan, much stronger. He liked his life, liked that it was uncomplicated.
Seeing her tonight made him think of complications. He had felt some emotions rise, emotions that seemed to corroborate what Ethan had told him. He could almost feel her hurting him, tearing his heart out. He didn't remember any of the actual events, but the emotions were there. But, he had also felt his instinctive desire to console her when she had fallen to her knees in tears. It made him feel weak. It made him feel trapped. He scowled, "Fuck that." He called out to Ethan that he was going for a walk.
Ethan had tried but he hadn't been able to break Ripper's need to take a stake with him when they went out at night. After the first time he had used it, Ethan started carrying a spare for him. Ethan said he was a vampire magnet. There was hardly a night when one didn't come after Ripper. It was as if he had slayer scent still on him and that made him a prize target. Ripper felt for the stake in his pocket, reassured by its presence.
Someone stepped out of the shadows. Ripper stopped, the face looking vaguely familiar. "Giles?"
"No, Ripper."
"Giles, its me, Angel."
"Why is everyone calling me Giles? Does no one call me by my first name?" He paused, moving closer. "Did you say Angel, like Angelus-Angel?" Ethan had told him those stories too.
"Y-yes."
Ripper hauled back and punched Angel with everything he had. Angel slammed into the wall behind him. Ripper shook out his hand, smiling, "God, that felt good." He pulled out the stake.
Angel put his hand up. "I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here to help. Buffy is worried about you."
Ripper's eyebrows rose almost off his forehead. "Buffy was worried about me, so she sent you, the demon who killed my girlfriend and tortured me for hours? She sent you as a way to help me? Holy Christ, she really is a piece of work." He slid the stake back in his pocket and glared at Angel. He moved forward and grabbed Angel by his jacket lapel, slamming him against the wall again. "Well, Angel, you don't get staked tonight because I want you to take a message back to my sweet lil ol' ex-slayer. Tell her to leave me the fuck alone." He turned his back on Angel intending to walk away.
"What did he do to you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Ethan, what did he do? This isn't…you're not at all like you used to be."
"And what would that be exactly? Hmm? Some pussy whipped watcher who allowed a bunch of suicidal teenagers to destroy his life?"
Angel had no response to that. Even he hadn't been able to believe the amount of abuse that Giles had taken, from them, from him. Except that there had been a purpose to his life. "You used to have a purpose. Your life had meaning."
Giles just snorted. "Oh, you mean like destroying demons?" He took the stake back out of his pocket.
Angel put both his hands up this time. He obviously needed to try a different approach. "This will kill Buffy."
Ripper stopped, casually flipping the stake end over end. "What do you mean?"
"She's half dead already, missing you, needing you. This will throw her over the edge."
"Sounds fair, after all, she killed me."
"Is that what Ethan told you?"
"I read the newspaper article, I heard Ethan's explanation."
"Giles, it was an accident. She was trying to save your life. She couldn't know that would happen."
"According to Ethan, she never seems to know when the shit's gonna hit the fan, but she keeps throwing it."
"Do you want her death on your hands?"
Ripper pursed his lips. He looked at Angel. "No matter what you say, I'm not going back. I don't want that life any more. I can never be that man again, never."
Angel thought he understood. He remembered Angelus thinking about how he'd been as Angel. Feeling humiliated at how soft and weak he'd seemed. Angelus couldn't see the strength in who he'd been, as this Giles couldn't see the strength he'd had being Buffy's watcher. "Giles…" At Ripper's look he started again, "Ripper, she needs you, they all do. She'll die without you. If I go back and tell her your message, she'll be dead in a day."
Ripper was cursing that he'd ever left the house. "Tell her you never found me then." He turned and walked away.
Angel leaned back against the wall. "Holy shit."
---
Ripper started having the dreams that night. Every night he dreamed about her, about them, horrible dreams. He watched them all, including himself die countless painful deaths. Ethan came in the first couple of nights to wake him up from the dreams but they happened so often every night that Ethan finally stopped. He watched Ripper grow more haggard every day. He didn't know what to do to help. He placed wards around Ripper at night to see if that would make a difference. It didn't. He got him drunk, he got him laid, he even got him high one night but nothing stopped the dreams.
After Ripper had told him about some of the dreams Ethan suspected that somehow his memory was coming back. Ethan didn't know how, but he was pretty sure that's what was happening. He had no idea what would happen if they all came back. Ethan was afraid he would lose Ripper again. He invoked his god, he researched his spell library but he could find nothing to stop whatever it was that was going on. He watched, helpless.
---
Angel sort of lied to Buffy. He told her that he had seen Giles but hadn't been able to actually catch up to him. He kept her alive on the hope that he would catch him the next night and then the next. She only ate when forced to and he could see she was slipping away. He swore, heading out the door to see if he could find Giles again. He had to make him understand before it was too late.
End Part 2