E-MAIL ADDRESS: RariCoss1956@yahoo.com
SPOILER WARNING: Major spoilage of many things up through Wrecked. Major, major spoilage, episode quotage, that sort of thing. For specific episodes see the Thanks section
RATING: Probably PG-13, but R just in case for any stray naughty bits, an occasional cuss word, and Wes bashing
PAIRING: B/G, but of course
DISTRIBUTION: Gabi, Nikki, Dword, Dee, anyone else, just ask
DISCLAIMER: It all belongs to Joss, the real king of the world, the WB, UPN, Fox, Mutant Enemy and anybody else who feels they own it.
SUMMARY: Buffy is given the opportunity to make a wish. Then she is told she must undo it. Will she?
NOTES: Set after Wrecked, Season 6.
FEEDBACK: Absolutely.
THANKS: Thanks to all the wonderful Buffy episode writers. I used lines from the following episodes and writers: Joss Whedon, Welcome to the Hellmouth; Dana Reston, The Witch; Dean Batali and Rob Des Hotel, The Dark Age; Ty King, Passion; Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt, Nightmares; Jane Espensen and Doug Petrie, Checkpoint and Flooded; Rebecca Kirshner, Tabula Rasa.
And thanks to Ruth for keeping Giles, Ethan and Gwen British, Liz for University of London assistance, Da Wench for her amazing knowledge of all seemingly useless, and yet not, Buffy trivia, and Lori Ann and Deb for their beta help.
And many apologies to whoever is the real person in charge at the British Museum. I'm just borrowing your job for a little while. You can have it back when the story is done.
A Different Life: Part 1
Buffy sat at the bar, drawn in on herself, her body language making it clear to all and sundry to stay away. She was 21 today. Funny, no one felt like celebrating. Willow was going through the magic DTs, Tara was being miserable off by herself, Xander and Anya were bickering about wedding plans, and Dawn took the easy way out and was staying at a friend's house. Buffy was trying to avoid Spike. And Giles, well, Giles was still gone.
So, that left Buffy. She was legal today and she was taking full advantage of it. Buffy was drinking scotch. Giles' preferred choice of alcoholic goodness. She had the birthday card he'd sent sitting in front of her. It said that he would be toasting her with a good glass of scotch and Buffy thought she'd return the favor. She couldn't understand how he could stomach the stuff but she was gamely on her second drink, determined to get drunk enough to forget, at least for the night.
She was tired of remembering. Tired of remembering what had been taken away from her, tired of remembering how fucked up everyone's life had gotten, tired of remembering the dreams she'd once had of how her life would turn out. Buffy ran her fingers over his signature. She was still angry with him, but she missed him more than she would have believed possible. He'd always been there, like oxygen, something you never even think about it until it's not there any more.
The card had a birthday cake on the front, with a lot of candles on it. Inside, the caption told her to Make A Wish. Giles had made one for her; he wished happiness for her, that she find her way, that she find a way to be glad to be alive, as glad as he was that she was alive. She had no idea what to wish for. Buffy didn't think she believed in wishes anymore.
She thought about it for a while. And she found to her surprise that she was full of wishes. But they were coupled with sorrow because she knew they'd never come true. She wished Giles was still here, she wished he'd never left, she wished she hadn't died, and she wished she hadn't been brought back. Buffy wished she'd never slept with Spike, that she'd never slept with Angel, that she'd gotten to Riley before his helicopter left. She wished her mom were still alive and Glory had found another universe to annoy. And Buffy wished she could cry. The pressure grew unbearable sometimes but the tears wouldn't fall. It was as if there was an ocean of tears inside of her held back by this impenetrable wall that allowed Buffy to see her emotions but to never really touch them.
A man sat down next to her. Buffy could tell he was watching her. She scowled at him and spoke. "Do you mind? I'm not in the mood for company." She looked at him and his eyes captured her attention. They were ancient and amused all at the same time. Pulling her eyes away she took in the rest of him. He was old, dressed in nondescript baggy pants and shirt, an old cardigan sweater on top of that. He had a bristly gray beard and snippets of hair sneaked out at odd angles from under his hat, a beret, tilted at a cocky angle.
When he smiled at her his teeth were a bit yellow as if he'd been smoking for a very long time. "Wishes are powerful things."
Buffy scoffed. "None of mine have ever come true. Not so very powerful from where I'm sitting."
A matching glass of scotch was suddenly sitting in front of him. He toasted her and took a sip. "Happy birthday."
Buffy's eyes narrowed. "How do you know it's my birthday? Who are you?"
"A friend."
Again, she let out a disgusted noise and she lashed out at him. "What do you want? Because I'm really, really not in the mood for company."
"I've come to give you a wish."
"Oh, please." She turned away from him and faced the bar again.
"Not just any wish. No, this is only for a certain type of wish."
"You had to come in here? You couldn't have gone to a different bar and found another person to harass?"
"But, I'm willing to help you work on it, until you get it right."
"Do I have a sign on my head that says my life doesn't suck enough, please make it worse?"
"And you don't want to waste it. You want to think big, girl, don't settle for something mediocre."
"Listen buddy, I don't want to hurt you but…"
"You can change your life. You can make it different."
Buffy looked at the man again. She felt a glimmer of hope, and then a flash of anger that obliterated it. Anger that this man was promising her something she could never have. "Right. And what do I have to do to get this wish?"
"Just wish it. I'll do all the work. Tell me what you're thinking; we'll work on it together until you get it just right. Then when you're ready I'll do the magic for you."
"And then when you've got me all full of hope you laugh and walk out of here?" She looked around. "Did Spike send you here? Is this his idea of a sick joke?"
"No joke. You've been through too much. You shouldn't have to suffer anymore."
Buffy didn't answer at first, although she agreed with the man. She shouldn't have to suffer anymore. She didn't think she could handle anything else, she felt fragile, like she might come apart at the seams at any moment. Then she felt a surge of defiance, suddenly felt a strong desire to do something for herself. She turned to the man. "Any wish?" Buffy knew she was being a fool but the lure was too strong.
"No, only certain wishes. But go ahead, tell me what you'd wish for."
Buffy's dark mood swept over her again. "I wish I was still dead."
The man shook his head. "Can't do that."
"Why not?"
"Just can't."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Fine, I wish you'd go away."
"Can't do that either." He grinned. "Besides you're thinking too small. He tapped the birthday card. "Think, make a decent wish."
Buffy looked at the card. "I wish he were back here."
The man shook his head. "Nope."
Buffy looked at him, incredulous. "Why can't you do that? All you have to do is change his mind and get him back on a plane."
"It's not that simple."
Buffy sneered at him. "You don't even know who I'm talking about."
"Rupert Giles. Watcher. Yes, I do. And if he came back now, things would just get worse."
"Fine, then I wish I'd never slept with…" Buffy turned away, disgusted with herself.
"Can't do that one either."
Buffy stood up. "You are so full of shit. I don't know why I even listened to you."
He stood too. He wasn't any taller than her. "I know you feel bad about it. But I can't change people's hearts. Given the same situation I can't go in someone's head and rewire them so it turns out different. Make my job a lot easier if I could. People love who they love; people hate who they hate. Only thing you can change is the circumstances." He gestured towards a booth. "Perhaps we should talk someplace more private."
Buffy allowed her frustration to show on her face. She was torn. This guy was a fruitcake but there was no denying that he knew things about her that he shouldn't know. Finally she nodded briefly at the man and they moved to a booth. As soon as they sat he spoke. "Try again."
Buffy looked at him, stymied. "I don't know…" She thought again. "I wish I could feel again."
"You don't need to wish for that. You feel just fine. Feeling dead inside is what you're feeling. Feeling angry is what you're feeling. Feeling lost is what you're feeling. Plenty of feeling going on."
"I wish I could be happy."
He squinched his face up again. "That's rewiring, can't do that."
She shot him a disgusted look. "You have got to be the most worthless wish giver on the planet."
"I'm not. I'm one of the best. You just have to come up with one I can do, one that's worth my time and my energy."
"Shit. You tell me what to wish for then."
"Can't do that. But I can tell you this. You're thinking too small. Think big; shoot for the moon. Opportunity like this doesn't come around very often." All Buffy felt right then was tired. Tired of her life, tired of being the Slayer, tired of it all. Even tired of this game. She leaned her head back again and wished it would all go away. He smiled. "Now you're thinking, girl."
Buffy's eyes widened. "I can wish for that?"
The man looked at her, his eyes glittering. "The sky's the limit. Stuff like that's my specialty."
"I can wish this never happened?"
He leaned forward. "Be more specific. What do you wish never happened?"
"That I never became the Slayer. That I never got called."
"If that's what you want, I can do that. But it has to be what you want." His eyes were lit with excitement and he was almost breathless with anticipation. "Say it for me, say the wish."
Without volition Buffy said the wish, feeling almost compelled. "I wish that I had never become the Slayer. I wish the whole thing passed me by and I'd had a different life." After she said the words Buffy tried to see the danger. Nothing like this could possibly be true. No one could make her life that different. But a part of her ached for it. A part of her was willing to pay the price for it, whatever it was.
"You want this wish, girl? All you have to do is say yes."
Buffy's heart was beating so hard she felt as if it might explode. "Yes."
The man smiled. "Thank you my dear. That's the wish I hoped you'd wish for. This was almost too easy." He seized her hand and began to chant.
Buffy tried to pull her hand away but she couldn't. He was too strong. "Why, why did you want me to make that wish? What did I make easy?" A fear filled her, a fear that she had perhaps done a serious evil with this wish.
"Don't worry. You'll never know." His voice sounded as if it was far away. The bar grew dim and a wind swept through it. Giles' card that Buffy had left sitting on the bar flew up in the air along with a flurry of cocktail napkins. Then, everything froze, the card, the napkins, the people on the street. Nothing moved except the man's lips as they continued chanting. Buffy gazed in horror as his eyes began to glow. Then it all started to fade away.
End of Part 1
A Different Life: Part 2
Buffy came to with a start. She closed her eyes and then she opened them wide. She was on an airplane. The last thing she recalled she had been in the bar trying to get drunk and that man had started talking to her. Buffy tried to remember. He had done something, he'd…he'd told her to make a wish. Her heart started to pound as she remembered his eyes. Who had he been? What had she done? She tried to remember what she had wished for; the memory seemed so distant.
Then she remembered. She had wished that she hadn't been called, that she hadn't become a Slayer. For a minute she was overcome with disappointment. She still had all her memories of being a Slayer. Of dying, of being wrenched out of heaven, of watching it all fall apart.
But then new memories started crowding her brain. And with the memories came emotions. Excitement for her new adventure, sadness at leaving her mom and dad, the thrill of her first overseas trip, a sense of fear mixed with anticipation as to what might happen over this next year, who she'd meet, what she'd accomplish.
Buffy sat there, confused as both sets of memories vied for attention. Both felt so real. She searched for her purse. Finding it she took out her wallet looking for her license. Buffy Summers. That hadn't changed. She noted the address, the LA address, the one where she used to live before her parents got divorced. But now she had memories of them staying together. Of them staying in LA, of her finishing high school with her friends, of proms, of dates, and being homecoming queen at Hemery High.
She searched again through her purse and found her ticket. Opening it she looked for her destination. She was on her way to London. The needed information was suddenly in her head. She was doing her senior year of college abroad, studying in London, at the University of London. There was a small apartment already waiting for her, and she started classes in a little over two weeks.
Buffy could feel the old memories start to fade. Out of fear she mentally tried to grab hold but they twisted out of her reach like a dream on awakening. As they faded out of reach a pair of glowing eyes seemed to stare back at her but after a minute she couldn't remember anything at all. Shaking off a shiver down her spine she turned off the light above, curled up in her seat and soon fell asleep.
***
Buffy walked down the steps from her apartment and grinned. She loved it here. She'd had a week of classes already, she thought her teachers were great and she already had made some friends. And she adored the English accents. Although for some reason she couldn't figure out, every now and then it made her feel so lonely. Not lonely for home, lonely for someone.
Shaking off her weird nostalgia Buffy grinned again. Today she was planning on just roaming. No planned itinerary, no plans of any kind. Just walking and shopping and eating. Heading off the steps she let her feet choose her destination. By early afternoon she found herself standing in front of the British Museum. Buffy knew she'd be spending a lot of time here as her major was in history and much of the material she needed for her senior project was housed here. She toyed with the idea of going in but stuck to her original plan of a free day and kept wandering.
A few blocks up she came to a public garden. Getting out her map she tried to figure out where she was. After noting the street signs she determined she was at Russell Square. Entering the garden she found a park bench to sit on.
At the other end of the park a man was throwing a Frisbee to two dogs, one golden and one chocolate lab. She laughed as the dogs did everything they could to sabotage one another as they raced for the Frisbee. Suddenly the dogs took after some ducks. The man yelled. "Ethan, Rayne, come back here." The dogs sheepishly came to a halt and after the dark lab scooped up the Frisbee they went lumbering back to the man.
Buffy felt strange. The names of the dogs were jogging something in her memory. Something important. She gritted her teeth as she followed the tenuous lead within her brain and then she gasped as all her old memories came crashing back. They didn't erase her new ones, and they didn't emotionally overwhelm her. It was more like she had just remembered a movie she'd seen a thousand times that she'd forgotten all about until just this moment. And as quickly as they appeared, they started to fade again.
Buffy stood and started to walk, feeling the need for movement while she tried to figure out what was going on. Not paying attention she was knocked to her knees when one of the dogs ran sideways into her. The man came running over. "I'm dreadfully sorry. They're such complete idiots. Are you all right?" He reached down a hand to help her up.
When she looked up at him she froze. Enough of the memories were still there for her to know this man, as well as she knew herself. "Giles?"
He looked surprised but continued to reach down and help her up. "Have we met?" He held on to her tightly as the dogs raced by again. Shaking a finger at them, he scolded them. "Both of you, sit. Consider yourselves quite disgraced." He pointed at the golden lab that had knocked Buffy down. "Especially you." As they sat, looking quite forlorn, he turned back to her and grinned. Sensing their movement he turned to the dogs again and he put up his finger as if to warn them off. Disgusted, both dogs flopped down.
Giles escorted Buffy to the nearest bench. Sitting down next to her he checked her over for any overt signs of damage and then apologized again. "I really am sorry. I didn't even see you. I'm afraid as much as I'd like to blame them, I was the one that threw the Frisbee they were chasing." He frowned at the shocked look on her face. "Are you all right? Are you afraid of dogs?"
Buffy managed to shake her head. She looked at Giles. He was wearing jeans and a heavy wool sweater with the sleeves pushed up. His tattoo was still on his arm but he was making no effort to keep it covered. He wasn't wearing his glasses and he looked about ten years younger than when she last saw him. He didn't look so worn, so worried, so desperately sad. His voice broke into her reverie. "I'm starting to feel a bit worried. Should I call for some help?"
Buffy reached up a hand and touched the familiar crinkles at the side of one of his eyes. He still had them. When she touched him he felt something, felt as if something important had happened but he didn't know what. Feeling as if he already knew the answer he asked, "Do I know you?" They gazed at one another.
Buffy wasn't sure what to say. He didn't know her, not in this life. But she knew him, and she ached for him. It felt like years since she had seen him instead of weeks, although even those weeks had been too long. But even as she stared at him, the memories grew fainter. She dropped her eyes finally and shook her head again. "No, I thought you were…I thought you were someone else." She looked at the dogs and pointed at them. "What are their names?"
He gestured at the golden one first. "That one's Ethan and he's Rayne." He grinned.
Buffy grinned in response although her eyes were quizzical. "Did I miss a joke?"
Giles kept grinning. "Well, it's sort of a private joke. I get a tremendous pleasure out of yelling that name out loud and knowing that when I do that dogs come running." He laughed. At her blank expression he laughed again. "Like I said, it's a private joke. He doesn't much care for it either."
"He?"
"The man I named them after, Ethan Rayne. He wasn't amused." Giles snickered.
"Is he around?"
"Ethan Rayne, you mean?" At her nod he nodded his head. "Too often. He thrives on making my life miserable." Again he grinned. "You're American?"
Buffy nodded. "From California, Los Angeles."
"Ah, land of sunshine. You won't find much of that here." He looked up at the sky with a look of satisfaction. "Every day, something different." As the dogs whined Giles stood. "Well, I best let them finish their run or they'll drive me crazy all night." He looked down at her. "Are you sure you're fine? Do you need me to take you home?"
Buffy felt confused. She sensed within her such a connection to this man, she wanted to throw herself in his arms and hold him tightly. But he was a stranger to her and lessons had been too well ingrained in her about the danger of strangers so despite her longing to say yes she shook her head. "I'm fine." She smiled at him, her eyes sad.
He was strangely reluctant to leave her but the dogs were whining more and more loudly. Giving her a small smile he headed back over to the dogs. "Okay, you can get up. Go fetch." Pulling back his arm across his body he threw the Frisbee and the dogs took off madly after it. He watched them for a minute and then he turned back around to share a grin with the girl at their antics but she was gone. Looking around he saw her at the edge of the park walking away. Feeling a sense of loss he didn't understand Giles stood there until he couldn't see her anymore.
***
Giles dreamed about her that night. He dreamt that he was at the edge of a huge scaffolding that went into the sky as high as he could see and then further yet. She was standing at the top of it and she jumped off. He ran to try and catch her but no matter how fast he ran he couldn't get there in time. Her body hit a pile of rubble and he knew she was dead. Walking slowly towards her, his heart and soul wracked with unbearable pain he finally reached her. Picking her up in his arms he cried out at the night.
Giles woke up and found that he had tears on his cheeks. He lay in bed for a long time, the sadness swirling around him, until he heard a key in the door. He smiled as he heard her speak. "Where are my babies? Where are my puppies?" Giles heard the dogs barking, their toenails scraping on the linoleum as their speed prohibited them from making that last corner as gracefully as they may have liked. Grinning, he hopped out of bed.
She walked into the bedroom, as the door was still open, catching him in his pajamas. "Ru, aren't you even dressed yet?"
"I overslept. I had the oddest dream."
"Well go and take your shower and you can tell me all about it over breakfast."
"I don't have time for breakfast, Gwen." He walked over to her and placed a kiss on her cheek. "Are you sure you don't mind taking them?"
"Are you kidding?" She got down on her knees and the dogs started to wildly lick her face. "These are the closest I'll ever get to nephews out of you."
Giles rolled his eyes but chose not to respond. This was a well-worn topic of discussion. He headed into the bathroom and turned on the tap waiting for the water to get warm. "Well, I appreciate it. I don't know why I arranged for that Egyptian shipment to arrive today, on a Sunday."
Gwen moved to sit on the bed. She didn't know why but she had always loved to watch him shave. "I do. You want a chance to play before everyone shows up tomorrow. This way you get to give your undivided attention to your new toys and not have to be bothered by those pesky tourists who insist on the right to see all your treasures."
"They do get in one's way." He sighed. "My life would be so much easier if they'd all just go away." He put some shaving cream on his face.
"As long as they still make a donation, of course. They could make a small tithe and then just leave. That way the museum could still afford your salary."
He made a face at her. "Once it all gets organized I'll have dozens of groups who'll want to see the exhibit." He snorted. "And they'll all know someone who knows someone who'll know one of the trustees who will insist that I take them through personally on the offhand chance one of them might part with a substantial donation. Actually, it's already started, I have a group tomorrow." He shuddered. "I hate it." He began to shave.
Gwen grinned. "Well, you shouldn't be so good at it then. You know more than the rest of them combined but you have such a knack for keeping it simple. Of course they want you." She wiggled her eyebrows at him. "Besides, you're the man in charge and people with money want to deal with the man in charge." Gwen ignored Giles' scowl. She frowned. There was another reason her brother liked to see deliveries before anyone else. "Do you think there's anything evil in the shipment? Anything dangerous?"
"No, not really. Although I thought the last one would be harmless and I found that cursed tablet. If anyone had read that out loud every person buried within a 100 mile radius of here would have been wandering the streets looking for new bodies to take over." He blew out a deep breath. It made him nervous, thinking about what potential disasters were laying about in museums all over the world, museums where the Curator wasn't as intimately acquainted with the reality of evil as he was.
The dogs began to whine. Gwen cooed at the dogs. "Yes, auntie's going to take you for a walk. Yes, she is." As Giles shut the door of the bathroom behind him Gwen got up and headed for the kitchen. Opening up the back door to the small fenced in garden she let the dogs out to do their immediate business. She began puttering about in the kitchen, making tea.
When Giles joined her he found Gwen looking at the photographs on the refrigerator. She tapped the one of Olivia. "Why didn't you marry her? She was willing, and you seemed quite fond of her."
Giles snorted. "Now that's a solid foundation to start a life long commitment on. She was willing and I was quite fond of her." He reached for a couple of teacups. "No thank you."
"Why do you keep her picture up? You must still like her a little."
"Gwen, we've been friends for almost twenty-five years. That doesn't go away just because we're not together anymore."
"You'd have made such beautiful nieces and nephews for me to dote on."
Giles snorted again. "Sorry to disappoint you."
"So, what did you think of Stephanie?"
Giles sent an exasperated look towards his sister. "Would you please stop trying to set me up. I'm perfectly capable of meeting someone on my own." Giles thought of the young blonde woman he'd met yesterday. The one he'd dreamed of, the one who'd fallen to her death and broken his heart into a million pieces.
"No, you see, that's where you're wrong. You must meet a dozen women a day at the museum. I have at least that many friends who are dying to go out with you. You're handsome, single, reasonably well off, clever, have a great job, have no ex-wives or children hanging around your neck but you just can't seem to find anyone to date."
"I go out on plenty of dates."
"Single dates. You go out once and that's it. And you know why?"
"I know why you think that happens and I'm sure you're going to tell me again."
"Because you are a hopeless romantic." Despite Giles' look she further explained. "No, it's true. Don't give me that look. Despite all your scientific training, and an IQ that even intimidates me, you still think that's there's that one woman out there, one woman who's your soul mate, your other half, and that somehow, you'll just know, in this blinding flash, that she's the one."
She checked the tea and began to pour. "But there's a flaw in your plan. You'll never have the opportunity for any flashes to hit if you won't hang around long enough with anyone to give it time to happen." The dogs were scratching at the door and she let them in. As they bounced around her and Giles she spoke to them, again in a high singsong voice. "No, he'll never find her that way, will he? He's not lucky like you beautiful babies."
Giles shook his head and took only a single sip of his tea. "Well, as much as I hate to do it, I guess I'll have to leave you and my dogs to discuss my love life. I've got to go." He smiled fondly at her. "Thanks again."
"You see, you're not even arguing with me, because you know I'm right." She yelled after him as he opened the front door. "Say hi to the mummies for me." She looked at the dogs. "Are you boys hungry? Want some breakfast?"
Giles noted the time and walked a little faster while he thought about what his sister had said. He knew better than to argue. He hardly ever won any fights with her unless he could pull out the text in question and show her the facts and this wasn't that kind of argument. She was also right.
Gwen had given him several books on the subject. Books that discussed how he was keeping women at a distance by creating this mythical soul mate in his head. Books that discussed how because his mother had died when he was young that he didn't want any other woman to sully his memory of her. Books on how the ideal woman was right in front of him but he was too blind to see it. He had obediently read them all and then thrown them away. He couldn't help it. He just felt it in his bones. He was meant to be with someone. The other half of him. And she was out there somewhere.
Giles thought of his dream again. He felt another wave of sadness break over him. He let out a half laugh and he tried to shake it off as he reached the back entrance to the museum. After entering his security code into the keypad the door opened and pushing all thoughts of dreams and soul mates aside he headed for the receiving area.
End of Part 2
A Different Life: Part 3
The further Buffy got away from the park, the dimmer the memories became. Soon, they had faded completely. But Buffy remembered the man. She couldn't get him off her mind. Him and his two dogs. Ethan and Rayne. Somehow those names seemed important to her but she couldn't place it.
Buffy stopped and looked back. She had gone too far to see the park any more but she felt a longing to go back. A longing to talk some more with him, find out what his name was, and maybe walk with him for a while. There was something so appealing about him. Something that pulled at her heart. Suddenly the pull became irresistible and she began to run back to the park. Buffy was afraid that she had made a terrible mistake by leaving, that she had missed her chance, that she would never see him again.
As she arrived back at the park she scanned the area and she fought back the tears when she realized he had gone. Still determined she ran through it, looking down streets, hoping she might catch a glimpse of him but he was no where to be seen. Buffy walked back to the bench where they had spoken together and she sat down. For the first time since she had arrived Buffy really, really missed her mom.
That night she dreamed of him. She dreamed that he was holding her. That he held her tightly against him as he ran. They entered a room and he knocked everything off a counter and lay her down on it. Looking down at her he spoke. "I'm going to stop this. I promise." He took off his coat and folding it, he placed it under her head. "You just hang on."
Her vision was blurred but she watched him as he opened a book. She knew she was ill. She knew she was dying. A woman spoke to him. "How is she?"
Giles looked over at her. "We only have a few minutes left." After some ingredients were added to a potion he stood before it. "Right, here we go." He began to chant. "The center is dark. Centrum est obscurus. The darkness breathes. Tenebrae respiratis. The listener hears. Hear me!"
Giles picked up the book and began to read. "Unlock the gate. Let the darkness shine. Cover us with holy fear. Show me Corsheth and Gilail!" Putting the book down he raised his hands in the air. "The gate is closed! Receive the dark! Release the unworthy! Take of mine energy and be sated!" Giles plunged his hands into the liquid, wincing. "Be sated! Release the unworthy!"
Buffy could feel the illness leave her. The scene faded out as she stood and when it faded back in she was standing next to Giles as he looked down at her, speaking to her. "I assume the, uh, all the spells are reversed. It was my first casting, so I may have got it wrong."
Buffy grinned at him. "You saved my life! You were a god!" He nervously grinned back at her.
Buffy rolled over in bed, a smile on her face.
***
When Buffy woke up her first thought was of the man. Him and his goofy dogs. Then she remembered her dream. The dream had been of him but for some reason in the dream she had known him as Giles. And she had felt so safe, so sure that he would protect her.
Buffy headed for the kitchen and automatically reached for the coffee. Her eyes settled on the tea she had bought last night for no reason except that she felt she had to. She pulled the box out of the cupboard and kept it in front of her as she drank her coffee.
Buffy knew she ought to study but she decided to go for a run first. In the back of her mind she knew exactly why she was taking a run and it had nothing to do with exercise. She wore her most flattering shorts and cropped top. She ignored her inner voice teasing her as she put on some make-up. When she opened the door and felt how cold it was she grimaced and threw on a jacket. With one last look in the mirror she headed for Russell Square.
She saw the dogs first and her heart rate started to speed up. She looked for the man but she didn't see him anywhere. Suddenly a woman's voice called out. "Ethan, Rayne, come." The dogs bounded back to her and she wrestled the Frisbee out of Rayne's mouth. Buffy couldn't stop the dismay she felt when she saw a woman with the dogs.
When the woman threw the Frisbee again both dogs took after it but Ethan saw Buffy and ran over to her. Buffy patted him and he wagged his tail and looked for all the world as if he was grinning at her. Buffy couldn't help but grin back. Gwen saw her and headed over. "Sorry, I hope he isn't bothering you."
Buffy looked up at the woman. She was tall, several inches taller than Buffy. She shook her head. "We've already met."
Gwen looked surprised. "You have?" She scratched Ethan around his ruff. "Have you been sneaking around behind my back?" She grinned at Buffy. "You can't trust him for a minute, him or his namesake."
Buffy shifted to avoid being knocked over as Rayne joined the fray. "His name's Ethan, right?" At the woman's nod she continued. "He knocked me over yesterday. Some man came to my rescue." Buffy tried to nonchalantly look around for him.
Gwen sent a sharp glance Buffy's way. She could tell the girl was hunting for information. As she looked Buffy over she slowly smiled. "That would be my brother, Rupert."
"Oh, your brother." Buffy thought she was doing a good job hiding her relief but she wasn't.
Gwen bit back a grin. "Did you talk long?"
Buffy shook her head. "No, just for a few minutes." She looked around. "He's not here?"
Gwen shook her head. "He had to work today. I'm babysitting. He has someone come in during the week and walk the dogs but he's stuck at weekends."
Buffy was dying to be nosy but she didn't feel comfortable enough to start interrogating this stranger about her brother. Gwen got annoyed as Rayne knocked into her once too often. She threw the Frisbee to get rid of them. She grinned at Buffy. "I know there's only two of them but sometimes it feels as if there's at least ten."
Gwen was dying to be nosy but she supposed it would be quite inappropriate to ask what had happened between her and her brother. Something significant enough to bring this girl back looking for more, that was clear enough. Not that that was surprising. Ru didn't know his own charm. He left a wake of doe-eyed women everywhere he went and he was clueless about it. That was one of his charms. So, knowing Ru, he probably didn't even know that he'd snagged another admirer, him and his dogs.
But Gwen remained ever hopeful. It was only the two of them and she wanted nephews and nieces to spoil. And he wasn't getting any younger. She didn't want children of her own. She liked to travel and be footloose and fancy-free. Rupert was the settling down sort, so he needed to have the kids. Several of them if she had her way.
There was a moment of awkward silence as they both waited for the dogs to return. Gwen wrestled for the Frisbee again, this time from Ethan, and she threw it off in the other direction. She turned to the young woman. As much as she wanted to, good manners just wouldn't let her press for details. So she did what she could. "He walks them here more or less every weekend, generally around this time of day."
She avoided eye contact with the girl and pretended to look for the dogs. When she spotted them she grimaced and shot Buffy an alarmed look. "I'd better go and get them before the gardener shows up and reads me the riot act." She grinned. "Again." She took off after them. The dogs had dropped the Frisbee so they could more thoroughly investigate a flowerbed.
Buffy giggled as the woman tried to convince the dogs to chase the Frisbee instead. Eventually they allowed themselves to be cajoled but not without leaving a few glaring gaps in the greenery. The woman looked as if she might head back to Buffy but then she was joined by someone with two dogs of her own who was clearly a friend and they started talking. All four dogs frisked around each other as they got reacquainted. Buffy watched them all for a few more minutes and then with a sigh she began the run back to her apartment.
***
She dreamed of him again. They were in a burning building. They were both coughing as she supported him outside. He had been hurt but she didn't know why. He pushed her away, his voice angry. "Why did you come here? This wasn't your fight!" He tried to go back in.
Buffy punched him in the jaw. He spun and fell to the pavement. She screamed at him. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?" She began to cry and crouching down she reached for him and held him close. He started to cry as well and he clutched at her. Rocking him, through her tears, she spoke in an anguished tone. "You can't leave me. I can't do this alone."
When Buffy woke up, she felt very much alone.
***
Gwen was there when Giles got home. He could smell something cooking. He grimaced. Heading into the kitchen he gave her a hug. "You could have called. I would have picked something up on the way home."
She sent him an annoyed look. "It won't kill you to eat my cooking."
Giles lifted the top off one of the pots and looked at its contents. "Are you sure about that?"
She shooed him away from the stove. "How were the new toys?"
Giles' eyes gleamed. "They were wonderful. Wait until you see them."
She grinned at the excitement in his voice. "Will I be able to get a private tour with the man in charge? Even if I have no vast sums of money to donate to the museum?"
"I think something can be arranged." Opening the oven door he frowned at whatever was cooking in there. "Assuming he isn't poisoned by his sister who refuses to believe that she simply shouldn't try to make anything more complicated than tea and toast."
She pouted. "I just wanted to surprise you." The pout turned into a dramatic sigh that she really didn't mean. "It's a tragic flaw."
He nodded. "Very tragic." He looked in the final pot. "And past the point of rescue I'm afraid. We'll have to start over again or order something in."
She handed him a selection of menus. "Here, I had them ready, just in case."
Giles grinned and selected Chinese. After ordering he went into the bedroom and changed into jeans and a t-shirt. "So, any problems today with the beasts?"
"Other than their predilection for gardening, not a thing."
Giles got a pained look on his face. "The gardener didn't see you, did he?"
"No, thank goodness. But if he'd shown up I was prepared to make a run for it."
Giles let out a laugh. "Gwen, you just need to not throw the Frisbee so close to the flowers."
Gwen watched him. "I was distracted. I was talking to your new girlfriend."
Giles turned startled eyes on his sister. "I beg your pardon?"
"This girl, she was looking for you." She didn't supply any more information and just kept watching.
Giles looked at her with a furrowed brow and then she saw it, a gleam in his eye. His eyebrows lifted. "Really?" He tried to look disinterested. "What did she look like?"
"Blonde, pretty, American. She said you rescued her from certain death yesterday."
Giles laughed. "I'm afraid Ethan knocked her right to her knees." As Ethan heard his name he came over to Giles and leaned against him. Giles scratched him up and down his back. Again the disinterested tone. "You say she was looking for me?"
Gwen grinned. "Yes. She looked quite put out when she saw it was me with the dogs and not you. But don't worry; I threw her off the scent. I let her think that you and I were an item so she won't bother you anymore."
She saw the flash of dismay in his eyes. "What? Why did you do that?"
Gwen let out a cry of victory. "Ah ha, I knew you were interested. You can't hide anything from me." She let out a happy sigh and then waved a hand at him. "Relax, I told her you were my brother and she seemed quite pleased with that information. I also told her that you could be found there most weekends, late in the morning, walking Ethan and Rayne." She looked at her brother, a bit of anxiety in her eyes. "I hope that's all right."
Pushing Ethan out of the way he walked over to her and kissed her cheek. "It's fine." Grinning at her he scolded. "But no more matchmaking."
"Did you really like her?"
Giles rolled his eyes. "You're incorrigible. I barely met her. We only spoke for a few minutes." His eyebrows furrowed again. "But I had the strangest dream about her last night."
"You dreamt about her?"
Giles nodded. "She jumped off this structure and I tried to catch her but I couldn't. She died and I held her while I cried." He shook his head. "I can't imagine why I dreamed that."
Gwen spoke in dramatic tones. "Maybe she's your soul mate and it was your unconscious telling you that you'd done a bad bad thing by not getting her telephone number."
Giles snorted. "You are better at cooking than dream interpretation and that is a frightening thought. I would advise you to keep your day job."
Gwen took in a mock wounded breath. "You cut me to the quick." The doorbell rang. "Just for that you get to pay for dinner." She held out her hand and Giles, with a roll of his eyes, pulled out a few notes and laid them across her palm.
As she walked to the front door Giles couldn't keep the grin off his face. Last night and this morning he had been feeling that maybe he had done a bad bad thing by not getting her number. But now, thanks to Gwen, it looked like he might get a second chance.
***
He dreamed about her again. He was with two people he didn't recognize, a young man with dark hair and a red haired young woman. They were looking across the street. It was daylight where they were standing but it was night where they were looking.
The edges of night were shifting and shimmering. As they watched they realized the night encased a cemetery.
The young woman spoke. "Excuse me, when did they put a cemetery in across the street?"
The young man responded. "And when did they make it night over there?"
The three of them crossed the street and entered the cemetery. Tombstones surrounded them. The young man looked around. "Whose nightmare is this?"
Giles looked at a gravestone that read: Buffy Summers 1981 - 1997. In his mind he saw a brilliant smile, blond hair, bright eyes. He spoke. "It's mine." He knelt down by the side of the gravesite. His heart was so heavy. "I've failed... in my duty to protect you. I should have been more c... cautious. Taken more time to train you. But you were so gifted. And the evil was so great. I'm sorry..."
He laid his hand on the fresh soil. As he started to rise a hand reached up through the dirt and grabbed him by the wrist. Giles awoke with a start, his heart pounding in his chest.
End of Part 3