Friends
by: dword
Rated G (yeah I know I'm a wimp!)
This was the very first Buffy fanfic I ever wrote. I answered a birthday challenge for Laure Alexander. She had answered a 'Rocky Horror' challenge of mine with a lovely bit of smut! I sent it to her but never posted it 'til now. Don't expect too much!
"I can't believe you lost it, Xander! Sometimes I think your brain is filled with Cheez Whiz!"
"Awww, come on Wills. Don't be mad, we'll find it."
"We'd better. Everyone chipped in for this gift for Cordelia's birthday. We all wanted to show Cordy how much we missed her and that we really do think of her as one of the Scooby gang. If we don't find it you will have to go to the party and face the wrath of Buffy on your own."
"We'll find it. I know it's here somewhere in this room. We just have to keep looking."
"Well it might help if you turned on some lights so we could see."
"Uh, sure Will." Clap. Clap.
"Goddess, Xander. A Clap On? Lazy much?"
"Heehee. It's cool."
Willow sighed heavily as she began to rummage through a crate from under Xander's bed. She picked up a video cassette and turned back to Xander.
"Roller Boogie? Xander, you said you returned this years ago. You swore you returned it. I fought with Sunnydale Video for days about this."
"What can I say. Roller skates, disco, and Linda Blair. I had to have it. Sorry." Puppy dog eyes, hopeful smile.
"You are hopeless! Get back to looking, we haven't much time. What time is it anyway?"
"Can't tell ya, my watch is broke. The LCD don't light." He held out his wrist. "See?"
"Whatever, just get back to it Xander. Find Cordy's gift!"
With a jaunty salute he said," Yes sir, ma'am!"
A giggling Willow turned back to the crate. Suddenly all color drained from her face and then dark red suffused her cheeks. There at the bottom of the crate was her missing Barbie doll. Missing for the last 8 or so years. Right next to Xander's Ken doll. Xander's anatomically correct Ken doll. Somehow or another a piece of clay had been strategically attached to Ken.
"Xander Lavelle Harris! I don't believe you! You pervert! You sicko! You thief! How could you do this. I am so grrr with you right now. I am going to turn you into a newt or a rat or a bug! Yeah a bug, then I'll squash you."
"Wha...? Oh. Willow, calm down. Can't we talk about this? Ken was lonely."
"Lonely?!?! Arghhh..."
Willow advanced toward Xander, he quickly began to backpedal until he was stopped by the beanbag chair in the middle of his room. Losing his balance he landed on the bag with a loud POP. Beans and dust flew everywhere. As he looked up at Willow, fear for his continued existence plainly in his eyes, fuzz and dust began to settle all over him.
At the sight of Xander covered from head to toe with chair innards, Willow snickered, then giggled, and then outright laughed. The fear began to lift as hope of survival began to grow within Xander.
"Xander, you are just very lucky you do pathetic so cute."
"Everyone has to be good at something. Cute pathetic is my thing. Oh yeah, guess what? I found Cordy's gift."
"Great, let's go Perv Boy. We have just enough time to get there before Cordy. And there's a funny pointed hat with your name on it."
"Awww Will, do I hafta? Those hats are so uncool."
"Consider it punishment."
Closing his bedroom door as they headed out, Xander smiled. He got off easy. Again.
END