Friends And Lovers

by: Rari Coss

Rated R


SPOILER WARNING: Everything through season 4
RATING: R
PAIRING: B/G eventually. B/R and G/J to start with
DISTRIBUTION: Gabi, Nikki, Dee, Dword, Della
DISCLAIMER: It all belongs to Joss, the WB, UPN, Fox, Mutant Enemy and anybody else who feels they own it. I'm just borrowing the characters, playing with them a little bit and then giving them back, memories wiped clean, except when they ask me not to.
SUMMARY: An AU story of what happens if Angelus didn't kill Jenny, and how that effects, over time, the relationship between Buffy and Giles. NOTES: This goes off into an AU with Innocence (season 2). Some of the episodes happened after that, some of them didn't. You'll get why in a minute. Latest versions of all my stories can be found at: http://www.dwordslist.net/rariindex.html
FEEDBACK: Absolutely.
THANKS: To Lori Ann for her happy faces and snorts, Deb for her editing catches, Ruth for keeping Giles British, and Gileswench for all the ongoing lovin'. And thanks to Psyche's Transcript site, and to Joss Whedon, Ty King, and Jane Espenson who wrote Innocence, Passion and A New Man, respectively. I'm borrowing some of their lines and stage directions



Friends and Lovers: Part 1

January, 1998

Buffy pulled the trigger and the rocket flew straight into the Judge's chest as Angelus and Drusilla jumped over the railing to escape their own doom. The Judge disappeared into an explosion of flame and smoke. All the people in the mall started screaming, trying to run to safety. Angelus and Drusilla hit the floor below and looked around them in disbelief. Bits of the Judge were falling all around. Angelus slowly got up and ran off. Drusilla let out little startled cries of alarm and then ran off in the opposite direction.

Buffy looked at the disintegrated Judge with satisfaction. She handed the rocket launcher down to Xander. "Best present ever."

Xander nodded. "Knew you'd like it."

Willow looked around her with some concern. "Do you think he's dead?"

Buffy was looking for Angelus but she answered Willow's question. "We can't be sure. Pick up the pieces and keep them separate." Buffy saw Angelus and jumped down off the refreshment stand and took off after him, avoiding the customers who were still running every which way in fear.

Cordelia eyed the floor with distaste. "Pieces? We get the pieces? Our job sucks!"

The sprinklers came on in response to the smoke, dousing Buffy as she continued to run after Angelus. Suddenly Buffy fell as Angelus blindsided her, hitting her.

He sent her a mocking look. "You know what the worst part was, huh? Pretending that I loved you. If I'd known how easily you'd give it up, I wouldn't have even bothered."

Buffy slowly got up. "That doesn't work anymore. You're not Angel."

"You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? It doesn't matter. The important thing is you made me the man I am today." He smiled, one of his chilling Angelus smiles that spoke so clearly of the demon within.

Buffy kicked him in the face. Angelus blocked her next swing and punched her in the face and in her gut. The two of them grappled for a minute, trying to throw the other off balance. Then Angelus kicked her in the face and Buffy fell to the floor. Rolling quickly she found her feet and launched herself at Angelus. She again found herself on the floor.

Angelus sneered at her. "Not quittin' on me already, are ya? Come on, Buffy. You know you want it."

Incensed, Buffy leapt up and kicked him in the face. He tried to recover but she kicked him in the chin and then landed a number of ferocious blows to his body. By the time she was done beating him he had staggered back into a potted tree. Buffy pulled out a stake and stood over him, fully intending to stake him. But her mind was suddenly full of Angel, of his love for her, how often he'd saved her life, of making love with him, how gentle he'd been. The arm holding the stake slowly fell to her side.

Angelus watched her for a second and then stood, facing her. "You can't do it. You can't kill me."

At his mocking tone, Buffy kicked him in the crotch and Angelus fell to his knees. Buffy turned as if to walk away. "Give me time." She took a step and then she thought of Giles. Thought of all her friends, and how Angelus would continue to prey on them all. She couldn't let that happen. Buffy spun around and thrust the stake through Angelus' heart. "That's enough time."

Angelus' eyes opened wide in disbelief as he looked down at his chest, the stake still in place. Then he exploded into dust and his remains settled on the floor.

Buffy knelt down on the floor, the tears streaming down her face getting lost in the spray from the sprinklers. She ran her hand through the dust, as it turned into mud, grieving for Angel but so relieved that Angelus was dead and wouldn't be able to hurt anyone anymore. Finally she got up and headed back to her friends.

Giles had been watching for her and smiled thankfully when he saw her. Buffy walked over to him and spoke softly, her voice tight. "He's dead."

She saw the flash of relief in Giles' eyes but he quickly squelched it, his concern for her taking precedence. He put his hand on her shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Buffy. Are you all right?"

She shook her head. "Not right now. But I will be."

"I'm here if you need me. I always will be."

She smiled at him, even through her tears. "I know that." She looked around at her friends, still gathering up the Judge's remains, then turned back to Giles. "Can you finish up here? I really need some alone time."

"Absolutely. Take whatever time you need." He looked down at her, his face worried. "Just be careful." She nodded but didn't respond. He spoke again. "Come over later, if you want to, if you need to talk." She nodded again and then headed for the door, pushing it open and disappearing into the night.

Much later, Giles heard a soft knocking at his door. He put his book down and moved to open it, knowing it was Buffy. His heart broke for her when he saw her face. Her eyes were puffy and red rimmed and she was trying so hard not to cry as she stood there. Her need overcame his reserve and he reached for her to pull her into his arms. Buffy started to sob helplessly against his chest. Lifting her up he shut the door with his foot, and then carried her to his couch, where he sat and held her as she cried out her pain and her loss.


***
February, 1998

Jenny was at her desk, working on a computer program. She took a sip of coffee and then set the cup back down, looking pensively at the screen. Giles stood at the doorway. "Hello."

Jenny startled and looked at Giles, her heart leaping in her chest at the sight of him standing there, so close to her. "Oh! Hi."

Giles walked into the room. "You're working late."

Jenny rolled her eyes. "Snyder asked me to do … well, trust me on this one, something very stupid that would bore you to tears if I tried to explain it to you."

"Oh." He wasn't sure what to say after that. There was so much still unsettled between them.

Jenny took a deep breath. "I spoke to Buffy today."

Giles glanced up at her in surprise, feeling a sense of hope that perhaps things weren't quite as irreparable as he'd thought only a moment ago. "Oh! Yes?" Giles sat on the corner of Jenny's desk.

"Mm." Jenny looked away. "She said you missed me." Jenny picked up a pencil and ran it through her fingers, playing with it.

Giles pursed his lips. "Well, uh, she's … a meddlesome girl."

Jenny looked at him, saw the humor back in his eyes, and knew that they had finally crossed a bridge. "I need to finish this up, but could I see you later?"

"Y-yes, yes. You could stop by my house."

Jenny smiled. "Okay."

Giles smiled back and stood up. "Good." He smiled even more and then he left.

Jenny watched him as he left, a grin on her face, her heart lighter than it had been in a while. She turned back to the computer scowling, wanting now to finish as quickly as possible so she could go see Rupert.

Giles was just finishing cleaning his dishes when he heard the knock on his door. Still wiping his hands off with a dishtowel he opened the door to find Jenny standing there. There was an awkward moment as the two of them stared at each other and then she crossed over the threshold and pulled him into a kiss. Throwing the dishtowel on the desk Giles wrapped his arms around her, shut the door with his foot, and kissed her back.


***
Buffy walked into the library the next day just in time to see the finish to what looked like a major smooch. Jenny noticed her and, still a bit uncomfortable around Buffy, turned to say a quick good morning to her, before heading out of the library back to her computer lab. Buffy grinned at Giles. "Guess you guys made up." She perched on the end of the library table

Giles blushed a little and moved to straighten some books. "Y-yes, we did." He glanced at her to see how she was taking it. As she continued to sit there grinning at him he let out a breath and moved over to the table to sit next to her, his shoulder near to hers. "Thank you. I know that you're still angry with her, and that this couldn't have been easy for you." He turned to look at her. "Is it all right?"

"The two of you?"

Giles nodded.

"Yeah, it's all right. No reason for all of us to be lonely. Besides I know she didn't mean it. I believe her when she says she didn't know what would happen."

"I know, but if she'd been honest we might have been able to research it, prevent it from happening."

Buffy smiled her self-deprecating grin. "Right. So I could spend the rest of my life with a boyfriend who I can't touch. That would have been a fairy tale come true. No matter how you sliced it, Giles, this was not going to end up happy."

"No, I suppose that's true enough, but I'm still sorry."

"I know you are. And it makes a difference that I know you really mean that. I keep catching Xander doing happy Snoopy dances. I can't tell you how much it's bugging me."

Giles bit back a smile. "Yes, well, Xander was never very fond of Angel."

Buffy snorted. "Understatement much?"

Giles did smile at that. One of his fast smiles that was gone almost as soon as it appeared. "So, you really don't mind about Jenny and me being back together?"

Buffy shook her head. "I really don't mind." She pushed off the table into a standing position. "Just make sure that in all of the excitement that you don't forget that you're my Watcher."

Giles stood as well and looked down at her. "I never forget that. Ever."

Buffy gave him a solemn look and then she nodded. Pointing to the hallway she spoke. "I gotta get to class."

Giles looked up at the clock. "Yes, you'd better hurry, or you'll be late." He smiled at her. "I'll see you later? For training?"

Buffy's nod this time was much cockier. "After my last class. I'll bring the music."

Giles made a face at her. "Must you?"

"I must."

Giles let out a long-suffering sigh and Buffy grinned at him. Spinning on her heels she headed off to her class. Giles watched her go and for a brief moment in time was grateful to feel that all was well with his world.

End of Part 1


Friends and Lovers: Part 2

January, 2000

Giles stepped outside the hotel room to watch Ethan get manhandled into a vehicle. Riley stepped closer to Buffy and she smiled up at him. "Thanks."

"I told you I'd help."

"You did. If I'd gotten here any later and if Giles had killed Ethan, I …never would have gotten him back."

Riley looked at her. "You'd find some other way." He paused. "You're really strong. Like Spiderman strong."

"Yeah. But I don't stick to stuff. But …yeah."

"And you're in charge. You're like, make the plan, execute the plan. No one giving you orders."

Buffy hesitated for a second, nervous about his reaction, but then she simply spoke the truth. "I'm the Slayer."

"I like it."

Buffy smiled. "Yeah?"

Riley smiled back. "But give me another …oh …week to get ready. And I'll take you down."

Buffy gave him a look, letting him know that she got the double meaning. She rose on her tiptoes and kissed him. "Let me get Giles home, and then I'll come over, okay?"

Riley nodded. "Don't be long."

"I'll be there as fast as I can." Buffy headed out the door and went to stand next to Giles. He was watching the car holding Ethan drive away down the street. She looked up at him. "Hey."

Giles looked down at her, his face still holding traces of his embarrassment. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

She moved a little closer. "And that wraps up another fun filled Ethan Rayne episode."

Giles let out a small groan. "He really is a pillock. And I'm a fool for letting him into my flat and drinking with him."

Buffy tilted her head to the side, considering him. "Why did you, anyway?"

Giles shook his head. "I don't know. We used to be friends, long ago. He said he had some information for me about the Initiative." Giles looked speculative for a moment. "Which surprisingly, he did. Not that I'm at all sure he should be considered a reliable source of information." He glanced down at Buffy. "Nevertheless, it was a mistake."

Buffy touched his arm lightly, her face tight. "I could have killed you. If that letter opener had been silver, you'd be dead right now."

"Yes, well, let's be grateful for cheap knock offs." When he saw that Buffy was not amused he spoke again. "I'm sorry I put you through that."

"What do you have to be sorry for? I'm the one who should be sorry, I almost killed you."

"You thought you were killing a demon, one that had killed me. There was no way that you could have known. And I'm sorry that I didn't exhibit greater wisdom as regards my drinking companion." He looked at her for a moment, his lips pursed. "Do I really spend that much time looking annoyed with you?"

Buffy looked at him, at his eyes. "No. I just said that to get us through the awkward moment there." She smiled at him. "But I do know them, your eyes. I know them as well as my own. As soon as I got a look at them I knew it was you." She scowled. "I just wish I'd looked a few seconds earlier."

Giles touched his chest where the letter opener had entered him. The wound had gone away once he was human again but the sensation of pain remained. "I'm just grateful you recognized me at all. It was a very unpleasant sensation having no one know it was me." He rolled his eyes. "Except Spike. That's irony for you." He looked around. "I wonder where he got to, anyway. He has my car."

"Knowing Spike he's probably on his way to Tijuana."

Giles let out a sigh and then shook his head, shaking the care away. "Well, he did find Ethan for me so I suppose I ought to be grateful to him." He looked down at Buffy again. "And to you."

"Hey, that's what Slayers are for." She furrowed her brow. "By the way, where's Jenny been in all the excitement? We tried to call her when we found your apartment all trashed, hoping maybe you were there."

"She's out of town at some computer convention. She's due back in tonight and was planning on stopping by."

Buffy looked at the ground. "That was bad."

Giles wasn't sure he followed. "I'm sorry? Jenny's leaving?"

Buffy shook her head. "No, finding your apartment that way. Thinking you were dead."

He lifted her chin with the side of his hand. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I really am sorry I put you through that."

Buffy gave in to her impulse and hugged him. Giles was surprised but he held her close for a minute. Buffy mumbled against his chest. "I'm just glad you're alive."

Giles chuckled and Buffy could feel the vibration beneath her cheek. "As am I."

Buffy pulled back and glanced up at him, feeling a little shy. She decided to go for an offensive move to help get things back in balance. She frowned and shook her finger at him. "No more drinking with Ethan."

Giles flashed her a quick grin and he acquiesced to her command with a slight dip of his head. "I promise."

Buffy nodded, satisfied. Then she looked worried. "What time is Jenny supposed to be getting to your place? She's gonna freak when she sees the apartment if you're not there."

Giles looked at his watch. "She could be arriving any time. I'd best be getting back." He glanced down at Buffy. "Of course, she has become somewhat used to my surroundings being in a bit of an uproar."

Buffy gave him a wry smile. "The joys of being my Watcher."

Giles spoke sincerely. "It is a joy." He grinned. "Most of the time."

"Yeah, well, I don't think Jenny will be thinking it's a joy when she hears about this." She grinned at him though, delighted at his words.

"There is no way she can blame you for my poor judgment, Buffy. Ethan was my friend, and my enemy, long before I met you. I should have known better."

Buffy flashed him an impish look. "Hey, you can make this all her fault. Tell her if she'd stayed in town this never would have happened."

Giles gave her one of his looks. He shook his head. "You know as well as I do, that Jenny and I do not spend every night together."

"I know. I know you still spend most of your time doing Watchery things."

"That's because being a Watcher is what I am. Jenny understands that."

"Well, I'm glad she does because I'd hate to have to slay her if she didn't. You're my Watcher first."

Giles smiled at her and then he glanced at the hotel. "And are you my Slayer first?" He wasn't quite sure why he suddenly felt the need to know that.

Buffy smiled one of her lopsided smiles. "You'll notice I'm out here, and not in there, right?"

Giles smiled softly back. "Point taken." He looked down again at his shirt, touching it distastefully. "I really need to get home. My stint as a Fyarl demon has left me with a strong desire for a long hot shower."

Buffy grinned at him. "Probably all that mucus, huh?"

Giles looked affronted. "Can you believe it? Of all the demons Ethan could turn me into he turns me into one that sprays mucus. Why didn't he turn me into something that could shoot flames of fire, or …?" Giles tried to think of another equally worthy trait but he came up empty. "Mucus." Shaking his head in disgust he shivered. "The whole thing was just appalling."

Buffy laughed. "Well, come on mucus guy. Let me get you home." She started to head off. They actually weren't too far from Giles' home.

Giles glared at her. "Stop calling me that, immediately."

Buffy just laughed again and the two of them headed off companionably into the night.

Riley watched from the hotel room until he couldn't see them anymore.


***
Jenny pulled up and parked in front of Giles' apartment. As she was about to open the car door she saw Buffy and Giles approaching, deep in conversation. Her first instinct was to get out and greet them but something in their demeanor kept her inside her car, watching them.

Buffy stopped once they got outside his place. She looked up at Giles. "Here you are, safe and sound."

Giles flashed a grin at her. "Yes, well, thank you." He took a step towards the door. "Would you like to come in?"

She shook her head. "Nah. I've spent enough time with that shirt."

"Ha ha. Very funny."

They stared at one another for a moment and then Giles, in an uncharacteristically intimate gesture touched her cheek with the backs of his fingers. "Thank you for recognizing me."

Buffy closed her eyes for a second, enjoying the closeness. When he pulled his fingers away she opened her eyes and smiled. "Sure. Thanks for not dying. Really, I mean that."

Giles let out a soft laugh. "You're quite welcome."

"I don't want to ever have to do this alone."

"You're not alone, Buffy. You have Willow and Xander."

"It's not the same. When I say not alone I mean you, you and me. It's always been us, no matter who else gets involved." She gestured between them with her hand. "The buck stops here."

He smiled softly at her. "I suppose it does. It is our duty, after all."

A look of sadness flashed across Buffy's face. "Is that all it is?"

Giles' eyes widened, shocked that she even felt the need to ask the question. "No, no, of course not. It never has been, from the moment I met you."

Buffy let out the breath she didn't even know she was holding. "Not just my Watcher then?"

"No, your friend, too. As I hope that you are mine as well."

"You are. My friend. You and me, friends."

Giles smiled down at her. "Friends it is." He glanced at the door. "I'd best get in." He paused. "Buffy, until we know a bit more about the Initiative, would you be careful?"

"I will." Buffy took a step away. "Oh, and don't forget to tell Jenny all about the mucus."

Giles glared at her. "Must you keep bringing that up?"

Buffy giggled. "I can't help it."

"Do try."

Buffy giggled again. Giles sent her a final glare, coupled with a brief smile and he turned away and headed inside. Buffy watched until he got in safely and then she turned around and headed to Riley's.

Jenny sat in the car for another minute and then she slowly opened the door. Retrieving her suitcase she glanced down the street where Buffy had disappeared and then, shaking off her mood, she hurried the rest of the way in.


***
After they had made love Giles lay in bed, Jenny nestled against his side, her head on his shoulder. The hateful shirt was wadded up in the trash. Jenny ran a hand over his heart, where the letter opener had pierced him. "She almost killed you."

"No, you mustn't say that. She didn't know it was me when she did that. Buffy would never hurt me."

Jenny found herself annoyed with Buffy for some reason, or perhaps her annoyance lay with Giles' constant need to defend her. "You get hurt all the time when you're with her."

"None of it is intentional. She's the Slayer. Her life is filled with danger and my place is beside her."

"Must you place yourself in danger as well? Can't you be her Watcher from afar?"

Giles let out a sigh. "Like my father before me, like most Watchers have been and will probably be?" He ran a hand down Jenny's arm. "I suppose I could be, but I don't choose to be that way. My place is with her, helping her any way I can." He rolled on his side facing Jenny. "You know that. You know my thoughts on this. I've never misled you, Jenny. She must come first. If something happened to her because I wasn't there with her I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

"And if something happens to you? Would she be able to live with that? Have you asked her? Maybe she'd rather have you someplace safe." Jenny ran her hand over his chest again. She longed to keep Rupert safe, to keep him alive and by her side.

Giles cocked his head a little to the side. "She probably would. In fact, I know she would. She's told me as much herself. Just as I would choose to keep her safe, keep her home, with her mother, with her friends, instead of facing death every night."

"Are you sure you don't make it more difficult for her by being with her? Isn't her life difficult enough without her having to be afraid for your safety every night as well?"

Giles pursed his lips, considering Jenny's words. Doubt started to wiggle its way into his heart. Maybe he was making it harder for her. He let out a sigh. "I'll talk to her about it, all right?"

Jenny nodded. "I just don't want anything to happen to you. I love you." Giles pulled her closer to him and he caught her lips in a kiss. Jenny allowed herself to be distracted but it didn't escape her attention that he hadn't told her that he loved her as well. He never did. She knew that he loved her; he showed her that he did. He called her love, and touched her so tenderly, but the actual words never passed his lips. The I'm in love with you words. The words that, as time passed, Jenny found herself more and more desperate to hear.


***
Riley held Buffy in his arms as they both cooled down from their lovemaking. She wore him out. He grinned at her. "You are so amazing."

She grinned back at him. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Buffy snuggled in closer. "Tell me more."

Riley laughed. "Okay. First of all, you're like a superhero. Then, you're beautiful, with this knockout figure, and you're great in bed. And then you're caring, and smart."

Buffy rolled up on an elbow and looked down at him. "You were doing so great but you lost me on the smart part. Giles is the smart one. He's the brains, I'm the brawn."

Riley frowned. "You are smart, Buffy. Does Giles tell you you're not smart?"

"God no, he's always scolding me whenever I say that I'm dumb." She grinned. "He's the one who helped me study for my SATs and I completely aced those."

"So why don't you think you're smart?"

"It's not so much that I don't think I'm smart, I just know that Giles is smarter. He's kind of a genius guy."

"Who is he, anyway? I mean, I can guess by what you're saying that he helps you with the Slaying, but what is he?"

"He's my Watcher. Every Slayer has a Watcher."

"And what does a Watcher do? What does Giles do?"

"He trains me, he teaches me to fight." At the look on Riley's face she grinned. "I know he's kind of old, but he's good. He knows a gazillion types of martial arts, and how to use every kind of weapon there is. Plus he's a whiz with a sword."

Riley wasn't quite sure he believed her but he wanted to move on. "What else does he do?"

"He knows tons of stuff about demons and reads a bunch of languages, and has a huge library of books filled with info about the stuff I fight. So he researches a lot, finds out how to kill the demons, finds prophecies of bad things coming up." Her eyes grew bleak for a second.

"What's the matter?"

She shook off her mood. "Nothing. Just some of those prophecies suck, big time." She thought about Giles again. "He patches me up when I get hurt, and makes me feel better when bad stuff happens. He's sort of like the other half of me. Slayer and Watcher." A flash of pain crossed her eyes again. "I had a Watcher before him."

Riley's eyebrows rose. "What happened to him?"

"He died. I got him killed. I froze up with this uber bad vampire and he tried to protect me and he died." She looked at Riley. "I killed the vampire, I got it together enough to do that, but it was too late. Merrick was dead."

"Were you as close to him as you are to Giles?"

She shook her head. "No. I mean, he wasn't my Watcher for long, less than a year, but we just never connected that way. Not the way Giles and I am. Connected, that is."

"What does that mean, exactly?"

"Connected?"

Riley nodded. "Yeah." He was annoyed at how jealous he was feeling. Jealous of a man old enough to be Buffy's dad.

"I don't know. It's like we can read each other's thoughts. We always know when the other one is upset, or angry. He just knows me, inside and out. I can't imagine doing this without him. I get so afraid sometimes, that something is gonna happen to him, like it did to Merrick, like it almost did tonight." Buffy rested her head on Riley's chest and her voice was muffled. "I almost killed him tonight." Buffy was having a hard time getting past that.

"But you didn't."

"He gets hurt so often, and it's always my fault."

"Why does he get hurt so much?"

"Because he's with me so much." She lifted her head and smiled ruefully at Riley. "You should know that it's an occupational hazard if you're going to hang with me."

"I'm willing to take the risk."

Buffy kissed him softly. "That's what Giles always says."

Riley was tired of talking about Giles. He rolled over until he was on top of Buffy. "Well, we're all safe now, so let's get back to the business at hand, all right?"

Buffy could feel his erection against her leg. She reached down and grabbed him. "Consider it well in hand."

Riley grinned and started kissing her.

End of Part 2



Friends and Lovers: Part 3

The next night Giles and Buffy were patrolling. During a lull Giles brought the subject up, as promised. "Buffy?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you rather I didn't patrol with you?"

She looked at him in surprise. "I thought you liked patrolling with me." She winced when she heard the pout in her voice.

Giles hurried to reassure her. "I do. I do like patrolling with you."

"So, why are you asking me?"

Giles let out a sigh. "I just wonder if I make it harder for you by being here. If I distract you. If I possibly put you in danger by insisting on accompanying you."

Buffy stopped and moved to sit on a tombstone. This required face-to-face communication. Giles leaned on the one opposite hers. For a long time Giles had felt that the easy way Buffy perched on tombstones, using them as her personal furniture was disrespectful. He'd finally decided that that if he were dead he would be more than happy to let a Slayer perch on his headstone and he'd moved on, letting it go. Giles just waited for Buffy to respond, wanting to give her time to answer honestly. A part of him scanned the darkness, looking for danger. Finally Buffy answered. "Merrick died when he was with me."

"I know."

"I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Nor do I." Giles clarified. "Want anything to happen to you."

Buffy tapped her stake against the headstone, thinking. "But you got hurt the other night and you weren't even with me."

"That's true. I've been hurt several times when I've not been with you."

"You even got hurt on campus that one time."

Giles nodded, remembering. After the high school was blown up, both he and Jenny went to teach at UC Sunnydale. One night, when he was working late, he had surprised a demon rifling through an office close to his. "This is a dangerous town."

"At least when you're with me, I can keep an eye on you."

Giles rolled his eyes. "I'm not completely helpless, you know."

"I didn't mean it like that. I just …" Buffy sighed. "Riley's offered to help me patrol. Him and his team. You know, with all the hi-tech gadgets they have."

Giles nodded, keeping his face clear of all expression. "Would you prefer that?" Giles was pleased that his voice sounded so calm, that none of his dismay showed up in it.

"No. Maybe." She saw it then, on his face, and she jumped off her tombstone and walked over to him. "Giles, the only reason I don't want you on patrol with me is that I don't want you to get hurt. I couldn't handle it."

"Aren't you afraid Riley could get hurt?"

"Yes, but it's different."

Giles scuffed at the grass with his shoe. "How so?"

"I really care about Riley, I do, and he's my boyfriend and everything but …"

"But?"

She looked up at him, her eyes huge and dark in the night, only the smallest sliver of moon casting any light. "If you died, if anything happened to you, I'd feel like a part of me had died. I need you, Giles. I need you alive to keep me going."

Giles looked down on his Slayer. "Ah."

Buffy frowned at him. "You're being Mr. Inscrutable. What does 'ah' mean?"

"Quite a few things, actually."

"So start listing them."

"It means that I feel the same way. It means that I want to do whatever I can to keep you alive as well. It means that perhaps I do distract you when I'm on patrol with you, because you know I'll take chances with my life to protect you. It means that perhaps you should take Riley patrolling with you."

"As long as you get it that it doesn't mean I don't want you around. And I still want to patrol with you every now and then." Suddenly Buffy felt a moment of panic at the thought of not patrolling with Giles, of not being with him. "Like every other night."

Giles smiled at that. "Every other night?"

"Yeah, like one night with Riley, one night with you. That cuts the danger in half. That's a good thing, right?"

Giles put his hand on her shoulder, lightly resting it there. "I don't want to make this harder on you, any harder than it already is. You needn't worry about my feelings in this."

"I'm not." Buffy grimaced. "I mean, I am, but I'm also thinking about my feelings. I like being with you. I don't want to not patrol with you but I also don't want you to get hurt." Her eyes pleaded with him. "So, every other night. We'll try that and see how it goes."

"All right. Just try not to let Riley get hurt. He seems like a nice chap."

Buffy grinned. "He is a nice chap. And he'll be okay. He's pretty good in a fight." She glanced at Giles again. "Not that you're not. I mean you're great in a fight. He's just, you know, kinda young, and you're, you know, kinda not."

"Ah." Giles nodded.

"There you go with the 'ah' again. What does this one mean?"

Giles was actually grateful for the vampire who came out of nowhere. He hadn't wanted to answer Buffy's question, let her know that that particular 'ah' meant that Buffy's words had suddenly made him feel terribly old, and not very useful. Perhaps he truly was better suited to be behind a desk, communing with his books, a cup of tea in his hand.

Buffy dispatched the vampire fairly quickly, wanting to get back to the conversation. She had a feeling that 'ah' hadn't been a particularly good one. Giles just stood to the side and watched her, amazed anew at her skills. He loved to see her in action when he wasn't deathly afraid for her. His thoughts were interrupted when suddenly Buffy was standing in front of him, picking up the conversation as if a vampire hadn't just interrupted it. "What did it mean?"

"It doesn't matter, Buffy."

"Oh oh. Yes it does. Especially if you think it doesn't matter." Giles took off his glasses and started to clean them. Buffy looked even more nervous. "And even more especially if it makes you clean your glasses."

Giles flashed her a small grin at that. "It's silly, really, not even worth talking about." Giles put his glasses back on and gestured for her to move on. "Let's finish patrol. It's getting late."

Buffy didn't budge. "No way." At Giles' look she simply sat on the tombstone again. "Fine, I'll figure it out on my own." Buffy began reviewing the conversation. She screwed her mouth up, first on one side and then the other. Finally she looked up at him. "It's about Riley isn't it?"

Giles looked momentarily disconcerted. "What do you mean?"

"It's like how I felt when you sort of let me know that you'd rather research with Willow. I felt stupid, and like you didn't want me around."

Giles' eyebrows rose and he protested. "I never felt that way."

"Yes you did. You'd much rather have Willow help you research than me."

"That might be true but it never meant I didn't want you around or that you were stupid. Willow just …"

Buffy grinned, interrupting him. "I get it, Giles. I mean I already got it. She's total research girl and I'm not. But back then, it made me feel bad." She looked at him, her eyes worried. "Did I just do that to you with Riley? Make you feel bad?"

"Buffy, it wasn't you. You have the right to be with whomever you want."

Buffy frowned at him. "You always do that."

"What?"

"Make it about me when I want it to be about you."

Giles smiled a little. "You noticed that, did you?"

"Yes." She jumped off the tombstone and walked over to him again. "I didn't mean it, whatever I said. I mean, I probably meant it, but not in a way that means anything about you." Buffy scrunched her face up. "Did that make sense?"

"Surprisingly enough, yes it did." And even more surprisingly, Giles felt better after hearing her convoluted words.

Buffy grinned. "Cool." She scrunched her face up. "So, are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine." At the look on her face Giles smiled. "Really, I'm fine. Thank you for being so concerned."

"Hey, if there's one thing I've learned, boyfriends come and go, but I only have one Watcher." Buffy looked around nervously. "But don't tell Riley I said that."

Giles chuckled quietly. "He'll never hear of it from me, I promise you."

They both headed off, Giles matching his stride to Buffy's shorter one. Buffy could tell that Giles was a bit distracted. Finally she stopped walking and swung around to face him. "What? Spit it out."

Giles smiled wryly at her. "You really are getting very good at that."

"At what?"

"Reading my mind."

Buffy grinned, but then she shook her head. "Nah, I can't read your mind yet, I can only tell when there's something in there screaming to get out."

"It's hardly screaming, Buffy." Giles looked indignant that she might think any part of him would ever actually scream.

"Whatever. Spill."

Giles put his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground. "I just wanted to tell you that I feel much the same way."

Buffy frowned. "You lost me."

Giles struggled against his usual reticence. "I understood you to say that your relationship with me, as your Watcher, is significant to you. Quite significant."

"Did I say that?" At Giles' glare Buffy laughed. "Sorry, I'm ruining the mood. I know this mushy stuff is hard for you."

"Yes, well, I'll stop now."

"Oh, no you don't." Buffy grabbed hold of his arm when it looked as if he might start walking again. "Really, I'm sorry. I'll be good now. And if it helps, yes, I did say that, although in a much less British and stuffy way."

Giles rolled his eyes at her words. "I simply wanted to say that I feel the same way, about you, as my Slayer."

"You mean, like, girlfriends come and go but you only have one Slayer?"

"Something like that."

"I probably shouldn't tell Jenny you said that either."

"Probably not."

"Although actually you've had another Slayer, even if it didn't last very long."

"She was never really mine, Buffy."

Buffy grinned at him in delight. "Like I am?"

Giles nodded. "Yes, like you are."

Buffy leaned forwards and kissed Giles on the cheek. "Thank you."

Giles touched his cheek in surprise. Then he smiled at her. "You are most welcome." He looked at her. "Although as regards me having another Slayer, you have also had another Watcher."

"Not like you."

Giles touched her arm. "Just so." They stared at one another for a moment and then a noise up ahead startled them both.

Buffy sighed. "Duty calls."

Giles pulled out a stake from his inner pocket. "Yes, it does." He gestured at her to go look. "I'll be right behind you."

At his words, Buffy felt an odd moment of peace. Smiling at him she turned and ran.


***
Four months later (late spring):

Giles was speaking on the phone to Jenny when he realized what time it was. "Jenny, I'm afraid I need to go. I need to meet Buffy for patrol."

There was a brief period of silence. "I've been meaning to talk to you about that."

"About what, dear."

"Patrolling."

"Is there something that needs to be discussed?" Giles' voice has grown tight.

Jenny ignored the warning tone. "I'm not sure I understand why you continue to patrol with Buffy when she has all those young Initiative men to patrol with her."

"I patrol with Buffy because she has asked me to."

"Are you sure she just didn't want to hurt your feelings?"

"Yes, I'm quite sure." Giles sighed. "Jenny, why are we even having this conversation again?"

"I just don't see why you should be risking yourself when she seems to have dozens of these young men more than capable of backing her up. Wouldn't it make more sense for you to be spending your time in ways that they can't? Using that extraordinary mind of yours?"

Giles smiled tightly. "Jenny."

"Besides, I miss you. I wanted to come over tonight. I want to make love to you, touch you."

Giles sighed. "As wonderful as that sounds, I really do have to go. I don't want to be late." He paused. "I can come over later."

Jenny's voice was rich with disappointment. "No, you always get home too late. I have an early class tomorrow."

"I'm sorry, Jenny."

"I know, Rupert. I just don't feel as if I see you enough."

"Shall we have dinner tomorrow night? Perhaps see a show?"

"As long as it's Mexican."

Giles' voice was teasing. "Which exactly? Dinner or the show?"

Jenny laughed. "I'll drop by your office later tomorrow."

"Lovely. See you then." Giles hung up and grabbing his jacket, checking the pockets for stakes, he headed out.


***
"I don't understand why you still patrol with him."

Buffy glanced at Riley. She was slipping on her boots. "He's my Watcher."

"You told me he got fired." Riley had been told most of the stories.

Buffy waved her hand. "That's just a technicality. I think he's my Watcher, he thinks he's my Watcher, that makes him my Watcher."

"That still doesn't explain why you have to patrol with him. I can patrol with you."

"I know you can, but I like to patrol with him."

"Buffy, he's an old man. He could get hurt."

Buffy looked at Riley, miffed at his words, feeling defensive of Giles, and then her jaw dropped as she recalled her conversation with him and connected the dots. She smacked herself on the head. "That's what I said." She shook her head, disgusted at herself.

"What?"

"I told …" Buffy waved off the comment. "Never mind. Yeah, he's older than you but he's in great shape and he's killed way more vampires than you."

"I find that hard to believe."

"Believe it."

"He still can't protect you like I can. I know he doesn't have all the equipment we have."

Buffy sighed and looked up at Riley. "Riley, why do you care so much? I want to patrol with you and I want to patrol with my Watcher. Deal, okay?" She got up to her knees and inched over to the bed where Riley was sitting. Buffy reached up and gave him a kiss. "It's no big."

Riley knew she was right, but he also knew she was wrong, and he wasn't quite sure why. Running his fingers through her hair he claimed her lips for a territorial kiss. When he paused for breath he spoke. "Will I see you later?"

Buffy shook her head. "Nah, not tonight."

"Why not?"

"Because Giles and I have some talking to do. There's some weirdness coming that he found in one of his books and we need to figure out how to deal with it."

"Maybe I should come along too, then, so I can help."

Buffy didn't want Riley there. "I'll let you know how you can help once we figure out what's going on. Hopefully it's just a false alarm." Buffy stood, looking down at him. "Have a night off, go hang with your guy friends, do guy things." She turned as if to go.

Riley grabbed her arm. "Just be careful, I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I'll be fine."

"I love you."

Buffy looked at Riley with some surprise. "You do?"

"So much."

Buffy ran her hand down Riley's face. "Wow." She kissed him softly and then she left the room. It didn't escape Riley's attention that she hadn't said it back.

End of Part 3
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