Changes, Past and Present
by: Gibberish
Rated NC-17
Email: Gibberish
Disclaimer: These wonderful characters do not belong to me. They are the property of Joss Whedon, WB and Mutant Enemy.
Spoilers/Timeline: Through Season 3.
Feedback: Yes please.
A small shop, formerly Ethan's Costume Shop, Buffy and Giles were arguing with Ethan Rayne. Suddenly, Ethan stopped and grinned at something behind them.
Buffy and Giles turned and looked at something over their shoulder. They saw a swirling vortex. "What is that?" Buffy asked in a hushed voice.
"Tag." Ethan said and her Buffy through the vortex. "You're it." He moved to follow, but Giles grabbed him. Painfully.
As suddenly as it appeared, it was gone.
Giles' grip on Ethan tightened. "Where is she? What have you done Ethan?"
Both men felt something akin to jolt go through them. Giles' eyes widened, then narrowed. "You shouldn't have done that Ethan."
"Bloody hell." Ethan managed to mutter just before Ripper's fist made contact with his face.
London, 1977
Ripper, Ethan, Deirdre and Philip were yelling at each other about Randall's death.
There was a flash of light and something knocked Ripper and Ethan to the floor. "What have we here?" Ethan asked, intrigued by the blonde that had fallen from ... Nowhere.
"Ethan, I am *so* going to kill you." Buffy said. She had her hand around his throat before she realized that something was wrong.
"Looks like she knows you Ethan." Ripper said with a grin.
"Giles?" Buffy asked in a frightened voice. "What did Ethan do?"
"You tell me Luv." Ripper told her. "Should I beat the 'ell out of 'im for ya?"
Buffy's hand was still at Ethan's throat. "That's okay, I can do it. But I need answers first."
"Answers to what?" Ethan choked out.
Buffy looked at Ethan. With a pang, she realized that this Ethan would not be able to help her. "What year is it?"
"What?" Ethan asked surprised.
"The year?" Buffy squeezed his throat tighter.
"1977." Ethan choked.
"1977." Buffy echoed. "What did he want here?" She asked herself aloud.
"Would you please let me go now?" Ethan asked.
Buffy released him. "How'm I gonna' get home?" She instinctively turned to Giles, but he wasn't Giles. He was Ripper.
"Where's 'ome?" Ripper asked.
"Sunnydale, California." Buffy said dazed. "1999."
"She's crazy." Deirdre said.
"Maybe she's on something." Philip added.
Suddenly Buffy grabbed Ripper's arm. She looked at the tattoo. "You've already done it, haven't you?" She asked softly.
Ripper yanked his arm away angrily. And suspicious. "What are you talkin' about?"
"Eyghon." Buffy stated. "Randall's already dead, isn't he?"
They looked at her in shock. "How did you know about that?" Deirdre asked in a harsh whisper.
"Giles told me." Buffy said.
"Who the 'ell are you?" Ripper asked in a dangerous tone.
"I'm Buffy. The Vampire Slayer." Buffy told him.
"You're a Slayer?" Ripper asked with a derisive laugh.
Buffy glared at him. "Are you making fun of my calling?" She asked. Without turning, she grabbed Ethan before he could take off.
Ripper's eyes narrowed as well. "What if I am?" He asked in a tone that challenged.
"Then I guess I'd have to teach you some respect for it." Buffy returned.
"You can try." Ripper said.
"What about him?" Buffy asked, indicating Ethan.
Ripper glared at Ethan. "You move, I'll deal with you myself." Ripper threatened.
Ethan nodded; he had a very good sense of self-preservation.
Buffy pushed Ethan away and challenged Ripper. "Take your best shot."
They fought, fairly evenly matched. Buffy, however, had a double advantage. Not only was she the Slayer, but Giles had trained her. She knew his strengths and his weaknesses.
Buffy watched him carefully. She saw the desperation in his eyes. These were his friends, he was a leader. If he lost, he would lose face. She couldn't do that to him, even if he did deserve it. She let him take her down.
Ripper pinned her to the floor. She was on her back and he was on top of her. He leaned down close. "You let me win." He said in a hushed but angry voice.
"You know that, and I know that." Buffy said just as quietly. "But they don't."
"Why?" He asked, bewildered.
"You're my ... Friend." Buffy told him. She didn't mention Watcher, Ripper didn't much care for Watchers.
"We're friends?" He asked surprised. Then he gave a wicked grin. " 'ow good of friends? This good?" He kissed her hard and thorough.
"Geez Ripper." Philip said in exasperation.
Buffy didn't push him away, nor did she respond. Ripper pulled away. If he'd been patient just a moment more though, he would have been surprised.
Ripper stood and helped Buffy to her feet. He watched in admiration as she dusted off her backside. Of course, so did Ethan and Philip.
Deirdre glared at her. "He won. Get out." She told Buffy.
Buffy barely glanced at her. She looked at Ripper and, grudgingly, at Ethan. "I need your help."
"Sorry." Deirdre said, not sounding it. "Get out. We don't want you here."
"Speak for yourself De." Philip said.
"Oh please Philip," Deirdre said in return. "Like she'd notice you with Ripper around."
Buffy blinked, they sounded like Cordie and Xander. "I just want to go home."
"No one's stopping you." Deirdre looked at her in distaste.
"Enough." Ripper said. "De, Philip, go home. We'll talk about Randall tomorrow."
"Ripper." Deirdre said.
"Tomorrow." Ripper said firmly.
Deirdre glared at Buffy again. "Don't get comfortable. He bores easily."
"Maybe it's the company he keeps." Buffy responded calmly. Ripper smirked.
Deirdre turned and stalked out. Philip, resigned, followed.
"How to make friends and influence people." Ethan drawled.
Buffy glared at him. "If I killed you now, I'd be saving a lot of people a lot of trouble. I'd keep that in mind if I were you." Buffy told him.
Ripper snorted. "I think I see why we're friends." He said.
Buffy looked at him. "You believe me then?" Buffy asked. "You don't think I'm crazy."
"Hell, I don't care if you're crazy or not." Ripper said. "I want to know how you knew about Randall, Eyghon and the tattoo."
"You told me. We're friends." Buffy told him. "I'm not saying any more in front of Ethan. He pushed me here."
Sunnydale, 1999
Giles had Ethan chained to the wall at Angel's old place, the mansion.
Ethan had a bloody nose and a black eye. Giles had settled into a cold anger.
"How did you do it?" No answer. He took a threatening step closer, a hard glint in his eyes.
"A book." Ethan told him, giving in. "At the shop."
"That's a good start." Giles said coldly. "Now tell me why you did it. Why did you push Buffy through?" No answer. Giles backhanded him across the face. "Why?"
"Because she was there." Ethan said. "The plan was to go alone. But the opportunity couldn't be passed up. I would have been her only way home. She would have had to protect me."
"You have the memories now." Giles said. "You know what happened."
"You can thank me later." Ethan said dryly.
Another backhand. "She could have died!" Giles paused, "Where's the book?" He asked in disgust.
London, 1977
After they threatened Ethan with dire consequences, Ripper and Buffy had sent him off. Then, they wondered around London at two in the morning.
"So, Ethan pushed you through some kind of vortex and here you are." Ripper summed up what she told him. "Not that I don't think Ethan capable of it, but 'ow do I know you're tellin' the truth?" He asked. "Why shouldn't I take you straight to Bedlam?"
"I'm guessing that Bedlam isn't a good place." Buffy commented wryly. "Do they know that you're supposed to be a Watcher?"
Ripper looked at her sharply, "Ethan does, the bloody snoop. 'ow d'you know about it?"
"Would you believe me if I said that you told me?" Buffy asked.
"Why would I do that?" He asked in return. "If what you said is true - And I'm not sayin' it is. - I'd be in my forties. Why would I be confiding in a twenty year old girl?"
"Nineteen." Buffy corrected absently. "Because I'm your Slayer. You're my Watcher. At least you were, now you're just my friend."
"Now I know you're outta' your mind." Ripper said. "Even if I wanted to go back to the Council, and I don't, they'd never give me a Slayer. Not with my history."
"Well, they did ... They will ... Whatever." Buffy said, confusing herself for a second. "Maybe your history is why they sent you. I'd already gotten a Watcher killed."
They walked in silence for a while. Buffy finally spoke. "Would it make you feel better to know that you were fired for breaking the rules?" She asked, only half kidding.
He just walked, eyes straight ahead.
"You told me that you were ten when your father told you." Buffy said softly. "That he, and his mother, had been Watchers. But you didn't want to be a Watcher." Ripper stopped and looked at her in shock. She stopped and returned his gaze steadily. "You wanted to be a fighter pilot." She smiled. "Or a grocer."
"No one knows that." Ripper said, shocked. "I never told anyone."
"How would I know if you didn't tell me?" Buffy asked. Her eyes pleaded with him to believe her.
"C'mon." Ripper grabbed her hand and walked at a quick pace, as he dragged her along.
"Where are we going?" Buffy asked as she tried to keep up.
"My place." Ripper told her. "I've gotta' think."
***********
Sunnydale 1999
"Damn you Ethan." Giles said upon finding the book. It was in Gaelic. Not a language Giles knew. Just a few phrases, mostly curses, insults and physical impossibilities. Ethan knew Gaelic, but Giles didn't trust him.From his memories, he knew that Buffy had returned. He just didn't know how. He'd just have to beat it out of Ethan. He gave a feral grin, if Buffy wasn't at stake, he might have enjoyed this.
London, 1977
Ripper was pacing around his small flat. Buffy watched with a growing sense of unease. She finally asked, "Are you okay?"
Ripper swung around to look at her. She looked concerned. For him. The knowledge did something to him. It touched something in him he thought long dead. He crossed the room and crouched in front of her. He reached out a hand and gently touched the cheek of her concerned face. "Who are you?"
"I told you. I'm Buffy." She said uneasily. She hadn't expected gentleness from Ripper.
"Do I make you nervous?" Ripper asked as he gently ran his fingers across her throat.
"I'm not nervous." Buffy said, but she swallowed hard.
"Don't I ever touch you?" Ripper asked with a knowing grin.
"Not like this." Buffy whispered.
"I must be an idiot." Ripper concluded. "I bet I've wanted to."
This was bizarre, Buffy thought. This wasn't like the kiss earlier. That had been dominance. This was ... Something else. This time when he kissed her, she responded.
The kiss started gentle, but rapidly became intense.
This was Giles, Buffy thought. Which, she realized, was probably why it seemed right. Giles was a part of her. No matter where she was, he was there for her.
Ripper fell to his knees and pulled her to him tightly, then pulled away. He stood and walked away from her. He kept his back to her as he thought. In just a couple of hours he felt about her in ways he never had before. Ways he thought impossible for him. He wanted to protect her, which was new. And she was a Slayer, she didn't need his protection. And his body had reacted, he never got that worked up, that fast. Not from just a simple kiss. But he knew that there had been nothing simple about it. That scared the hell out of him and he didn't scare easily.
Buffy watched him. He stood there; rigid. [What is he thinking? What did it matter?] She told herself sternly. She needed to find a way home. "Gil ... Ripper?"
"Yeah." Ripper responded without turning around.
"I don't know much about magic." Buffy said. "How do I get home? *Can* I get home?" She asked hesitantly.
Ripper looked at her then. "We'll find a way to get you 'ome. If I 'ave to break every bone in Ethan's body."
"That could be fun." Buffy said. "But he probably doesn't know. I mean, if he did, why wait twenty years?"
"There's no tellin' with Ethan." Ripper told her. "But if he knows, I'll make him tell us."
"Why?" Buffy asked. "You don't even know me. Why do you care if I get back?"
"Maybe I just don't want you following me around." Ripper said defensively.
Buffy just looked at him for a second. "Not a problem." She stood and walked to the door.
Ripper placed his hand on hers where it held the doorknob and stopped her. "What do you think you're doin'? You wouldn't last an hour alone in this city at night."
"I think I can handle it." Buffy said. She tried to pull the door open, but he stopped her. She looked up at him.
"You can't go out there alone." Ripper insisted.
"I can take care of myself." Buffy told him. "I've patrolled alone in LA at night. London can't be worse."
"You're not familiar with London." Ripper pointed out. "Know your ground before you fight on it."
"I'll take my chances." Buffy said. She forced the door open, nearly knocked Ripper to the floor and walked out.
"Bloody hell!" Ripper said emphatically as he slammed the door. He swore for five minutes before he went after her.
He caught up to her five blocks away. For such a little thing, she could move. He grabbed her arm to stop her. Then found himself flat on his back with her heel at his throat.
"Don't you know better than to grab people?" She asked. She removed her heel and reached down a hand to help him up.
Ripper pulled himself up, but didn't let go of her hand. "Not bad."
"I try." Buffy said as she tugged at her hand. He didn't release her. "What do you want from me?"
"That's a loaded question Luv." Ripper commented. He tugged on her hand and pulled her into his arms. "Maybe I want something that you won't give."
He leaned down and kissed her. He released her hand and wrapped his arms around her. He felt her hands move hesitantly around his waist. He deepened the kiss.
Buffy's hands gripped the back of his shirt, under his leather jacket.
She couldn't believe the way he made her feel. She felt his hands slide down until they cupped her bottom. He lifted her against him so that he was pressed against her stomach.
Ripper knew that he had to stop before he ravished her right there on the sidewalk. He released her mouth slowly and leaned his forehead against hers. They were both breathing heavily. "Come back with me Luv?"
"Why?" Buffy asked. "Why do you want me to go back with you?"
"Because I need to know you're safe." Ripper told her. "I don't understand why it's so important, but it is."
"And I'll be safe with you?" She asked humorously.
"As safe as you want to be." Ripper responded.
Sunnydale, 1999
Giles was slowly getting the translation out of Ethan.
London, 1977
Ripper woke up on his own couch. It took him a moment to remember why he was sleeping on the couch. Buffy. Hell. He heard the shower and a wicked thought came to mind, followed by a wicked grin. He stood and stretched his stiff muscles. Then, grin still in place, he headed for the bathroom.
Buffy finished rinsing her hair. She let the hat water run over her one more time before she shut it off. She opened the curtain and found Ripper holding the towel for her. She grabbed the towel and held it in front of herself. "What do you think you're doing?" She asked indignant. Then she realized that he wasn't wearing anything.
Ripper's grin widened, "Just waitin' for the shower Luv."
Buffy couldn't keep her eyes from peeking down. "Couldn't you have waited in the other room?"
"Wouldn't 'ave been as much fun." Ripper answered. He felt his body respond to her gaze.
Buffy couldn't help being impressed with what she saw. And every time she looked down, he was more.... Impressive. She stepped out of the tub and wrapped the towel around her. "You're a pervert."
"Just a healthy male." Ripper assured her. He leaned towards her, "Very healthy."
"I can see that." Buffy said, then flushed bright pink.
Ripper put his fingertips to her throat. Barely touching her he slid them down 'til they met the towel. "Where's that blush start?" He asked. He tucked his fingers the towel and her chest, then slowly pulled her towards him.
"None of your business." Buffy told him shakily. She was mesmerized by the look in his eyes.
He leaned down and touched his lips to hers in feather like kiss. When he felt her arms slide up his chest and around his neck, he released the towel from around her and pulled her flush up against him as he deepened the kiss.
They jumped apart when the bathroom door crashed open. They turned and found Deirdre glaring at them. Ripper stood in front of Buffy protectively.
"I knew it." Deirdre said in disgust and anger.
"If you knew, why the 'ell did you just barge in?" Ripper asked in rhetorical anger. "What do you want De?"
Buffy bent down and picked up the towel and wrapped it back around herself.
"Why did you bring the little tramp back here?" Deirdre demanded.
"Get out De." Ripper said coldly.
"What?" Deirdre screeched. "You're going to throw away years for that ... "
"Enough De!" Ripper said harshly.
"Excuse me." Buffy said coldly. She grabbed her clothes and stalked out of the room. A moment later, they heard the bedroom door slam.
Deirdre looked triumphant.
"Who do you think you are?" Ripper hissed. "Come into my flat, uninvited and insult her. I didn't throw away anything De, you did. Now get out."
"Rip ...
"I said get out!" He grabbed her arm and dragged her to the front door. He opened it and shoved her out.
"You only met her yesterday. Why is she important?" Deirdre asked before he slammed the door.
Her words echoed in his mind after he slammed the door. The truth was, he didn't know what it was about Buffy that drew him. What made him care. He just knew that he did. There was a connection like he'd never felt before. He had a feeling that he never would again, not with anyone else.
He went over to the couch and grabbed his jeans. He pulled them on hastily and headed for the bedroom.
He found Buffy, dressed now, sitting on the bed, knees drawn up to her chest and her head resting on them.
"I need to go home." Buffy said in a small voice. She didn't raise her head. "Before I do any more damage. I can't go to Ethan, God knows what he'd do with the information should he find that spell now. And you ... I don't know what to do about you."
"What do you want to do?" Ripper asked.
"Part of me wants to run." Buffy said.
"And the other part?" Ripper asked next.
Wants to never leave. But she didn't say it. She looked at him then. "I need to get home. Giles needs me. I need him.
"Lucky bastard." Ripper commented.
"No." Buffy said. "It isn't ... We don't ... I ..." She looked away.
Ripper moved and sat on the bed next to her. "It's not what I meant. I've never had anyone that cared that much about me. My old man wanted me to be a Watcher, it's all 'e cared about. What I wanted didn't matter. Tradition. Bloody hell, I was ten years old. All the other kids were playin', but I had to study. Vampires, demons, curses. They took my childhood. Do you know what that's like?"
"Yes," Buffy said quietly. She looked up at him. "I wasn't as young as you. I was fifteen when Merrick found me. The Slayer that slipped through the cracks. I lost my friends, had to lie to my parents and I got Merrick killed. I got kicked out of school because I couldn't tell anyone that I burned down the gym to kill Vampires and save their lives. I lost my childhood, but I got to save the world. So far, I've only died once."
"You died?" He asked shocked.
"Once." Buffy answered. Her eyes saw the memory. "A friend brought me back." She reached out and touched his cheek. "A prophecy. The Master would rise and I would die. You tried to go in my place. I had to knock you out to keep you from going."
Ripper shook his head, "I'm too selfish to 'ave done that."
"You're the least selfish person I know." Buffy told him. "You gave up everything for me. Lost everything because of me." She said sadly.
"Not everything." Ripper said. "I still have you."
"I need to get home." Buffy said again.
"I know." Ripper said. "I'll get some books, research, see what we can find." He didn't understand why she smiled at the mention of research. He stood. "Stay here."
"At the flat or in the bed?" Buffy's eyes twinkled as she asked.
"Either or both" Ripper responded.
"You should know, I don't take orders very well." Buffy told him.
"Somehow Luv, I'm not surprised." Ripper said, then left.
***********
Sunnydale, 1999
Giles took a break from Ethan. He went home, showered and changed. His thoughts focused on Buffy. Once Ethan had pushed her through the vortex, there were memories. Ripper and Buffy, they had tried to find her a way home.
Deirdre had been obsessively jealous, even though he had never had a relationship with her, just occasional sex. That's all it had ever been, sex.
And Philip, he'd been like a puppy. Not that he could blame him. And Ethan, he had wanted Buffy as much as Ripper had. Almost. He didn't think anyone could have wanted Buffy as much as he had, then or now.
He could remember her so clearly. How, as Ripper, he had felt an almost instant connection to her. Buffy had been there just three days, but ... Ripper loved her as he loved her now. And she had loved him. He didn't know why, but she had, What would happen between them when she returned? He was almost afraid to find out. But the memories ... Whatever the outcome, he'd have those.
London, 1977
Buffy waited, but she nearly went crazy. Patience had never been her strong suit. When someone knocked at the door, she answered it as if it were a lifeline. Then wished she hadn't.
The man, distinguished in a suit, was in his fifties. The woman with him had to be well into her seventies, if not more. She was just as distinguished, but not as forbidding. "Can I help you?" She asked politely. But, she had a sinking sensation as to who this pair must be.
"Where is he?" The man demanded as he strode in past her.
"Won't you come in?" Buffy said not bothering to hide her sarcasm.
The woman almost smiled, but the man glared at her.
Buffy realized that if she had been anyone else, this man would be very intimidating. He was tall, taller even than Giles. Broad. Dark hair, sprinkled with silver and cold blue eyes. Buffy, however, had seen and done too much to be bullied by anyone. "He isn't here." She said flatly.
"When will he be back?" He asked next.
"Didn't say." Buffy told him.
"It's very important that we speak to him." The woman said firmly, but kindly.
"I'm sorry." Buffy said, her eyes softer for the woman. "I'll tell him you were here."
"We'll wait." The man stated firmly, coldly.
It was Buffy's turn to glare. "I can see that what manners he has, he didn't get from you." She closed the door.
Mr. Giles blinked, momentarily taken aback by the acid in her tone. Aware, now, that despite how she was dressed, this was not just another of his son's tarts.
"Just the stubbornness." Mrs. Giles commented.
"Mother." Mr. Giles exclaimed, aghast that he and his son had anything in common.
"Do be quiet Edward." Mrs. Giles told him. One of the very few people that would dare. She looked at Buffy. "We heard about the death of one of ... What does he call himself? Oh yes, Ripper. One of Ripper's friends."
"Randall." Mr. Giles ground out. "We want to know what Rupert did."
Buffy glared at him again. "Do you always use that tone when referring to your son?" She asked. "No wonder he left. He'd get more concern from a statue."
"How dare you!" Mr. Giles practically bellowed.
"How dare you?" Buffy returned. "He's your son. Don't you care about anything other than whether or not he joins the family business?"
Mrs. Giles sat on the couch and sat back. She would enjoy the show. She watched the girl with a speculative eye.
"What could you possibly know about it?" Mr. Giles asked nastily. "You aren't even English."
"Some time after the war, you know the one that we Americans won. We started family businesses of our own." Buffy didn't want to cause a bigger rift by mentioning Watchers. "You have no right to try to force it on him."
"I'm his father." He stated.
"That doesn't give you the right to make him give up all of his hopes and dreams." Buffy said angrily.
"Hopes and dreams." Mr. Giles said in contempt. "He's just rebellious."
"Rebellions often occur in a fascist state." Buffy returned. Giles would be proud of her use of words. "Did it ever once ask *him* what *he* wanted? Did you even care? He's a person. He's smart and he's funny. He cares so much more than anyone realizes, even him. He hides it, buries it, because every time he cares, it's taken away. Quit trying to mold him into your idea of the perfect son and try getting to know him for who he is. Who he really is. You might be surprised."
Mrs. Giles looked at her with something akin to awe. Mr. Giles, while still angry, felt a dawning respect. The room was silent.
They all turned at the sound of the door being closed. None of them had heard it open. Ripper stood there, his arms full of books.
Buffy went over to him and took the books. She gave him a look of apology before she went into the bedroom.
"Quite a little defender you have there Rupert." Mrs. Giles said as she stood back up.
Ripper looked at his old man. "What are you doing here?"
"We heard about Randall." Mr. Giles said, careful to keep his voice even.
Ripper studied him, "So, you came here to say 'I told you so'?" He asked.
"Perhaps I did." Mr. Giles said quietly. He surprised all three of them. "But you can't go on like this Rupert."
"I know." Ripper said. His turn to surprise.
"Come home Rupert." Mrs. Giles urged.
"I can't." Ripper said. "Not yet. It would be too easy. I have to find my own way. I have to ... "
"Have to what?" She asked.
Ripper looked at his father. "I have to clean up after myself. Then I have to make a decision."
"You can do that at home." Mr. Giles told him quietly.
"No, I can't." Ripper said. "I have to do it this way."
They're quiet a moment.
"Who is she?" Mrs. Giles asked.
Ripper looked to the closed bedroom door, then back to his grandmother.
"Redemption. Hope." He paused. "A reason to change."
"I can't think of a better reason." Mr. Giles said with a small smile.
(Continue)