Wishes
(part 1 of 3)
by: Jolene (JBG)
Timeline: Just after Hush
Premise: Buffy takes a shot at cheering Giles up after Olivia leaves for
good.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my imagination. Joss Whedon, WB, Mutant Enemy
and/or a bunch of other people own everything else in the Buffyverse. Ben &
Jerry own Ben & Jerry's, I guess.
Author's note: I'm looking for feedback on this one, gang, it hasn't been
beta read, so I'll have only your reactions to go on. This is the very
first fic I've ever written at work!
Buffy/Giles - rated PG
There are times when, no matter what you say, or how you say it, it isn't enough.
That's what I thought when I saw him sitting on the patio behind his apartment. He was fiddling with his standard-issue cup of tea, but I doubt if he even knew it was there. He looked so lost and sad, I just wanted to make it all better. As usual, I knew I couldn't. I'm just no good at the consolation thing. I can kick major demon butt, but I'm a washout at personal interaction. Basically, I suck at it.
So, when I saw him, all I did was walk up with a stupid, vacuous (new word for the week) look on my face and say, "Hi, Giles. What's up?"
At least he didn't comment on how dumb that statement was. At his worst, his teasing is gentle and kind-hearted. I wish I could say the same for mine.
He looked up, his eyes getting that soft, glowy green look to them--that special look just reserved for his little 'family' here in Sunnydale. He gave me his patented reserved smile and tried to shift into non-brooding mode. "Hello, Buffy... isn't it Saturday? You're a bit early for training."
"Actually, I'm a lot early. I didn't have anything to do... and I don't mean that like it sounded... ('yes, I AM an idiot!') ...but I just wanted to see if you were okay." I sat down across from him, idly running my fingers over the textured surface of the patio table. "I mean, heart-wise okay."
"Ah." His face didn't reveal anything to me, not that I'm any better at reading my Watcher... ex-Watcher... now than I was three years ago when I first met him. I'm ashamed at my lack of Giles savvy. Poor guy. He sacrifices his entire life, and he gets a selfish, me-only Slayer with really bad taste in men. Except for him, of course.
"So..." At least I'm gonna try to be sympathetic. What I really want to do is do the Dance of Joy. That would be entirely cruel and unfeeling of me, so I squelch my happy vibes and try to be a friend to the man. "...d'you think she'll come back? For a visit, I mean? Like she did before?"
"I... I don't know. I'm rather inclined to think not." He dropped his gaze so I wouldn't see the pain in his eyes. "Learning that all your worst nightmares can actually come true isn't exactly conducive to a romantic atmosphere." Even with his already shredded heart broken, he doesn't want me to worry about him. Dumb guy--I'm worried already!
"I'm sorry, Giles. You don't deserve this again." 'Oh, way to bring up the past, Buff,' I tell myself as I wince at my own Cordelia-esque tactlessness.
"No, it's all right. Really. I shouldn't have expected... I should have known... well, this won't be the first time my.. uhm... association... with the dark side has frightened a lady away."
He's just saying that so I won't feel so callous. "It isn't all right. Mom always told me, 'There's someone out there for everyone in this world." I used to believe her, y'know. Now, I'm not so sure."
"My mother used to say something very similar. It would be lovely if it were true." He sipped his tea quietly.
I just sat there for a minute, wondering if I should come clean. See, I'm really happy that Olivia split. If I examined my feelings, I might discover a streak of jealousy running around the inside of me, so I haven't looked too closely.
Suddenly, I got the bright idea of the century. I tried hard to remember his exact words, that day, before the ascension, right after I found out Angel was gonna leave. It sure helped me.
"I seem to recall that this kind of thing requires ice cream of some sort." I grinned at his surprised face as the familiar words sunk in. "So, name your flavor, Watcher-man. I'm buying."
********
Ben & Jerry's wasn't too crowded, and just under fifteen minutes we were comfortably seated at a booth in the far corner of the dining room, making happy moany sounds in honor of our favorite dessert. I was kinda shocked to find out Giles' favorite flavor was Mint Chocolate Chip, just like mine. Another interesting and amusing fact about him that I didn't know. We both got three scoops. That's the absolute minimum for broken hearts, take it from the expert.
About half-way through, I decided to ruin the peaceful mood by opening my mouth. Don't ask me why. At least I didn't bring up dead girlfriends this time. "What do you miss most about England?"
He thought about it for a minute, then swallowed a spoonful of consolation and stated, "Snow."
"There's snow in Southern California."
"Really? Where?" He sounded kinda muffled, because he was talking around a huge bite of ice cream.
"In the mountains. They even have skiing. We could go there."
He was busy chewing, but he definitely looked interested. I guess we're gonna take a trip to the mountains pretty soon.
"You would wish for snow, if you had a wish?"
"Yes, I think I would."
"I never knew someone could miss being cold and wet all winter. Very strange."
"It's all according to how you grew up. I do miss it."
Now that I'd gotten this craziness started, I couldn't leave it alone. "So, besides snow, which we have here, what do you miss next to the most?"
It took him longer to respond this time. His eyes got this faraway look, which I always thought was a cliché, but there wasn't any other way to describe it. Finally, he smiled, a real, eye-crinkly smile. "Horse riding."
Another surprise. I've been on birthday ponies, and that's about it. "We have that here, too. I think. Somewhere in Southern California, there are horses. I bet we could find some."
I thought about it for a second or two, then added, "Maybe we could ride them in the snow. That way, when I fell off, it wouldn't hurt so much."
"You wouldn't fall off. You have excellent coordination. You'd be a natural. I... I could teach you."
I rolled my eyes. He's never seen me on a horse. I fell off every pony, every time, until I was ten, then I gave up ponies altogether.
"We shall go horseback riding, and go see some snow. So let it be written, so let it be done." I mean, who *hasn't* seen Anna and the King? I finished with a Yul Brynner-ish wave, and Giles actually laughed a little. I felt a glow of accomplishment that was way out of proportion to his appreciation of my joke.
"I do hope we don't have to go to Siam to accomplish this." His eyes twinkled merrily over his cup of hot chocolate, the steam fogging his glasses slightly as he sipped.
"There've gotta be horses in the valley, Giles." I said mock-seriously.
"I'm quite sure there are. Um, this started out as reminiscing and ended up as something quite different."
"Hey, if someone decides to grant your wishes in a way that doesn't involve selling your soul or losing a limb, you should just go with it."
He nodded, still smiling. So far, so good. I've promised him a mountain snow trip and a horseback riding trip, and I can't even drive by myself. Way to go, Buff. You'll put the Make a Wish Foundation out of business pretty soon.
"Okay, everybody's supposed to get three wishes, so..." I waited for Wish Number Three, hoping it wouldn't be something so far out of my reach that I couldn't possibly grant it. After all, I'm just a slayer. I'm not magic.
"I thought that was from genies in bottles."
"Take what you can get, Giles. This unbelievable offer expires at midnight! Call 1-800-ask-a-Slayer *now*! Operators are standing by!"
He laughed again. What a great sound. I don't remember him laughing much before.
"If you don't mind, I'd rather reserve my final wish for later."
"Okay, but don't forget the deadline."
The conversation veered over into more general things, like school, teachers, job prospects, and the mores of our little Scooby gang. Xander and Anya occupied about fifteen minutes, during which we laughed our heads off at their over-sexed relationship. I almost snarfed my hot chocolate once. It was great. Almost like hanging out with Willow... like best friends who'd been around each other forever.
Maybe I know him better than I thought.
********
It was dark when we left the ice cream parlor, and I was glad we'd stocked up on weapons before we left. We were walking, talking easily, laughing and cutting up like everything. People probably thought we were drunk. Who needs booze when you're on a chocolate/sugar high?
Giles was fun. I think I was surprised again. His laugh was great. He couldn't do his usual two-steps behind thing and carry on like he was, so he ended up holding my hand. I didn't really care what people thought then.
It felt good. It shouldn't have, but it did.
All of a sudden we were back at his place. I followed him in, not ready for the warm fuzzies to be over. I remembered that he hadn't said anything about Number Three yet, so I blurted, in my nervous/gawky voice, "You never did tell me about the third wish."
"It has nothing to do with England, actually."
"That's okay. We left England at Ben & Jerry's, anyway."
"So we did."
He just stood there in the hall, looking down at me with the strangest expression on his face. It sorta got uncomfortable after a minute or two, so I finally said, "Well? What about Wish Number Three? You afraid I can't grant it? You dare doubt my genie-like powers?"
He smiled wistfully. "I don't doubt that you can. I doubt that you will."
"Try me." I decided I'd do just about anything to get that Happy Giles expression back on his face.
He tilted his head up and glanced at the ceiling. You know how it is... when someone looks up, you gotta look up, too. At first I didn't see anything, then, on the fake open beam that crossed right over us, I saw a little bundle of green leaves stuck to the wood with a red push pin.
He didn't say a word. I could've pretended not to understand, or laughed it off, and he would've let me off the hook, I know he would've. That's just the way he is... never wanting to put anyone else out. But I understood perfectly.
This was a wish that only I could grant. It was easy, actually. Well, not easy, because a million things ran through my mind in about two seconds--but doable. If I wanted to, I could. But did I want to?
I decided I did. It was like a revelation, when I realized just how much I wanted to. All the usual jibes about age, tweed, and boring-ness were just convenient cover-ups, you see. I didn't want anyone to know I was madly in love with my Watcher...Ex-Watcher... Whatever. I wonder how he knew, if he knew. He looked hopeful and scared, just like I felt inside.
I smiled up at him. "Granted."
*********
See, as it turned out, I got my fondest wish, too. If granting his other two wishes is anything like granting that one, then I'm gonna be outstanding at horseback riding.
And I'll probably love snow.
END